November 25, 2009

From Your Inner Child of the Past by W. Hugh Missildine  pp. 87-88

                    Areas of Perfectionism

    Many people do not realize how much their perfectionism troubles them because it is limited to certain areas or activities. Such persons are generally able to enjoy and take satisfaction in other areas of life. But in specific areas they are perfectionistic, eternally dissatisfied with themselves even though their achievements surpass others and their shortcomings are not noticed by others.

    As George, one such person, put it recently: "Ordinarily I get along fine. If I make an error in grammar or English when I'm speaking to someone, if I use the wrong word, I am ready to die. I can't stand it. I turn red as a beet, my heart pounds, I get so flustered and mad at myself that I can't sleep. I wonder how I, of all people, could have made such a boner. Later I realize nobody cared, but I still can't stand it. I expect more of myself in that respect than other people do. My mother taught English and she drilled me constantly in perfect speech and grammar. The way I see it, there is no reason why I shouldn't use perfect English. God knows, I know the stuff. It's been drilled into me since I could talk. When I make an error, especially if I'm talking to a stranger, I feel I've made a hopeless, irremediable error because first impressions are everything. Consequently I am especially afraid of making an error. Therefore, I train myself, prepare myself for such a meeting if I have the chance. The result is that I generally make a good impression and whatever I say comes out perfectly.

Psalm 119: 66, 68, 76, 77, 93, 94

Teach me judgement and knowledge,
for I rely on your commandments.

You are generous and act generously,
teach me your will.

Your faithful love must be my consolation,
as you have promised your servant.
Treat me with tenderness and I shall live,
for your Law is my delight.

I shall never forget your precepts,
for by them you have given me life.
I am yours, save me,
for I seek your precepts.

Matthew 11: 25

At that time Jesus exclaimed, 'I bless you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, for hiding these things from the learned and the clever and revealing them to little children.
   

Psalm 33: 18-19

                Who do we serve —

                God has put us here to be mindful of Him —

                To serve Him — to get to heaven ourselves
                    and help others get to heaven —

                Disappointment in our performance —
                    can rule our life —
                    The devil can press down getting us to
                        focus on our appearance to others —

                Are we our god -
                Or is God our God —

                Serving God — means as St. Ignatius says

                        23. FIRST PRINCIPLE AND FOUNDATION

                            Man is created to praise, reverence and serve God 
                        our Lord, and by this means to save his soul. 

p.11

21.                     SPIRITUAL EXERCISES

    Which have as their purpose the conquest of self
    and the regulation of one's life in such a way that
    no decision is made under the influence of any
    inordinate attachment

 Prayer of St Ignatius

Soul of Christ, sanctify me
Body of Christ, save me
Blood of Christ, inebriate me
Water from the side of Christ wash me
Passion of Christ, strengthen me
O good Jesus, hear me
Within Thy wounds hide me
Permit me not to be separated from Thee
From the wicked foe defend me
at the hour of my death call me
and bid me come to Thee
That with Thy saints I may praise Thee
For ever and ever. Amen.

                Mary, the most perfect handmaid of the Lord —
                    was not focused on men's image of her —
                    she lived to serve God —
                    God was her Master —

                Look at all the martyrs — they were focused
                    on God — not their performance —
                    not their perfection

                They were willing to die for God — for what
                    God wanted —

                Who is our god?, God?

Today's reading

                Writing on the wall

 

July 5, 2000 by day

December 19, 1996 

Mary: My dear children, I give to you, my Son, Jesus, born in a stable in Bethlehem on Christmas morn. He is the Almighty God, the Light of the World.

    I appear to you, my children, on a (former) bank in Florida. You have made money your god! Do you know how cold are your hearts? You turn away from my Son, Jesus, for your money. Your money is your god.

    I am Mary, your Mother. I do not appear as I once appeared to you. I am asking you today to circulate my message given on a tape on the feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe, December 12, 1996. Please circulate this tape now. Give it to as many people as you can. I am Mary, your Mother. Please circulate my Rosary Book.

end of December 19, 1996

                        Give Glory and Eternal Praise to Him

July 5, 2000 by night

Luke 21: 12-19

But before all this happens, you will be seized and persecuted; you will be handed over to the synagogues and to imprisonment, and brought before kings and governors for the sake of my name —and that will be your opportunity to bear witness. Make up your minds not to prepare your defence, because I myself shall give you an eloquence and a wisdom that none of your opponents will be able to resist or contradict. You will be betrayed even by parents and brothers, relations and friends; and some of you will be put to death. You will be hated universally on account of my name, but not a hair of your head will be lost. Your perseverance will win you your lives.

                The martyr Catherine was the bride of Christ

                    The Lord prepared for her a place
                        forever —

                Listen to your God — bend low —
                                            lend your ear —
                                            do as Jesus wants —
                                            Mary is the perfect handmaid of the Lord —

1.   1st Commandment
    

2.         1. I, the Lord, am your God. You shall not have other gods besides me.

                Mary: Put God first in your lives to win a crown
                    of glory —
                    don't put yourself first — do what
                    Jesus wants

                Song: Praise the Lord, my soul —

                Seek God's goodness and love —
                Let us be a witness to the love of God —
                God hear our prayer and have mercy on us —
                    Holy Spirit come enlighten us —
                    Please send Your grace to us —
                    fill us abundantly —

                Increase our life in You, oh God —
                Hear us
                Help us
                We love You —
                We praise You
                You are our God - forever —
                Cleanse me God make my soul clean

                Victory over suffering is found
                    in loving God —

                Cleanse us, God —
                Help us to be holy

                Fruit of the Vine
                Pour Your Blood on us
                We love You, God —

The Our Father

    Our Father, Who art in heaven, hallowed be Thy name. Thy Kingdom come, Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. Amen.

                Come to me Lord and possess my soul  

Prayer for Union with Jesus

Come to me, Lord, and possess my soul. Come into my heart and permeate my soul. Help me to sit in silence with You and let You work in my heart.

    I am Yours to possess. I am Yours to use. I want to be selfless and only exist in You. Help me to spoon out all that is me and be an empty vessel ready to be filled by You. Help me to die to myself and live only for You. Use me as You will. Let me never draw my attention back to myself. I only want to operate as You do, dwelling within me.

    I am Yours, Lord. I want to have my life in You. I want to do the will of the Father. Give me the strength to put aside the world and let You operate my very being. Help me to act as You desire. Strengthen me against the distractions of the devil to take me from Your work.

    When I worry, I have taken my focus off of You and placed it on myself. Help me not to give in to the promptings of others to change what in my heart You are making very clear to me. I worship You, I adore You and I love You. Come and dwell in me now.

-God's Blue Book, January 17, 1994

  

                We see the truth when we are one with
                    God — we walk humbly — not
                    dominated by perfectionism by
                    man's standards or lying to prove
                    our performance is always perfect —

                If our earthly parents demanded perfection —
                    if we lived judging ourselves by
                    how we look in the eyes of being
                    perfect before other men —

                We miss the lives of martyrs who died for
                    Jesus when men persecuted them —

                Men put Jesus to death — He was whipped,
                    scourged, crowned with thorns, hung on a tree,
                    crucified because of men — who spit at Him
                    and laughed at him, mocked
                    Him as king —

                    His performance was that of doing
                        God's will — Acting in love —
                        Giving — not selfish

                Some people see others rejecting them when
                    nothing even was thought by others —

                A baby had a stomach ache from gas —
                    another baby thought he was
                    thinking bad thoughts, rejecting
                    thoughts about him —
                    The baby with the stomach ache had
                    a discouraging look on his face —
                    the other baby was scanning the area
                    to see who was rejecting him so
                    he could act out his own
                    patterned thoughts of rejection

                What is our program?

                Program #2

                    How you walk into a group —
                        (1) poor self image
                        (2) comfortable only when you are
                            running things
                        (3) combat to get higher than other
                            (seeking dominance for dominance
                            sake)
                        (4) patterned - defeating - emotional actions
                            from wounded past — YOUR WAY OF LIFE

                Fr. Carter has a book

                Response to God's Love —

                    God loves us perfectly
                    God created us in His image and likeness —

                We are to see our uniqueness and contribute
                    to loving God and others with our
                    gifts given - (1) that nobody can give and
                    love in this world and (2) give and love God
                    like us —
                    so we are to be empowered inside
                    actors

                Punishing others for our own anger —

                Inside of us — is there light —
                Inside of us is there anger
                                    unfinished business —
                                    seeking dominance for dominance sake —
                                    disobedience to those over us

                Children must learn to obey —

                    Little babies — one year old cry to
                        get their way — maybe throw themselves
                        to the ground in protest

                    At four a child may throw a
                        temper tantrum —
                        "I want it and I want it"

                Like nobody else exists —

                The more we grow likened to Jesus —
                    the more we give like Jesus —
                    we see through the eyes of faith —
                    we hope in salvation for ourselves and
                        others —
                    we love God
                    we build relationships
                        with Mary, the saints
                        our family
                        our friends

                We see the greatest commandment

                Even a hermit sees the plan of the
                    Father and he prays and gives his
                    life in service for the Father's
                    plan

                A child must learn to share —

                Children, babies don't want to obey,
                    Don't want to share —
                    they are learning

                When an adult sees only themselves and
                    does not see others —
                    when they act out untruths when they
                        walk in a room, how they
                        think others are victimizing them —
                        because they are dark and angry
                        inside —

                    when they pick a fight to be over,
                        hang up the phone, run out
                        of church or places mad —

                They are lost somewhere in wounded
                    emotions —

                The little child of the past is still in you -

                It can't rage —
                    or provoke another to anger —
                    violate others boundaries and
                    see with eyes that say
                        "my schedule"
                        "my way"

                it can't do that and live with peace with others

                unless they are the one who is in
                    charge in authority —

                A fight against 'just authority' is just
                    that —
                    the person wants dominance —
                    they want their way and

                They may try to control or
                    emotionally control others

                    How many days do we have and how
                we can waste precious time God gives
                to us to help us to love and share with each
                other in building the Kingdom of God —

                    We are here on a journey to another place —
                God gives us the sun and moon, air, life,
                babies, grandmas and grandpas, and we can
                be caught in surviving good days now
                as adults being reactors and not actors —

                    We have been blessed and we have been
                called in Baptism to spread the Good News —
                People in the world dying of hunger — babies
                aborted in the womb for someone not wanting
                to answer the vocation as Mother —

                    How blind can we be — those who
                were in the 2001 Twin Towers Catastrophe
                went to work that day —

                    People in plane crashes die
                    God gives and gives to us —

The Ten Commandments
 

1.   1. I, the Lord, am your God. You shall not have other gods besides me.

2.   2. You shall not take the name of the Lord, your God, in vain.

3.   3. Remember to keep holy the Sabbath day.

4.   4. Honor your father and your mother.

5.   5. You shall not kill.

6.   6. You shall not commit adultery.

7.   7. You shall not steal.

8.   8. You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.

9.   9. You shall not covet your neighbor's wife.

10.   10. You shall not covet anything that belongs to your neighbor.

                    The commandments are His rules —

                    Being selfish is not God's way —

                    We are here as His servants and handmaids and
                    Yet how is our example for giving
                thanks to God — spreading His
                light — Showing others about the Catholic
                faith, the Eucharist, the priest — How
                God gives us a sharing in His life in
                baptism

                    Petty arguments — one fighting their
                whole life because they are angry inside —
                wanting to make everyone under them — living
                in jealous manipulation because they
                are controlling and seeing everything through
                their stilted eyes —

                    Jesus gave His all
                    Jesus fell under the cross — wounded for
                        those who through force hurt others
                        with their selfish, unloving ways —

                    When you enter in your style to put up
                        God's banner 

                    Is your way to see your plan and
                        play your old favorite tune
                        "I forced it my way" 

                    Or

                    ME  -  ME

                Our Lady said at Fatima

                    (1) "Conversion"

                    (2) Reparation

                        Telling God we are sorry —
                        Not trying to prove we have a
                            perfect performance

                    (3) Devotion to the Hearts of Jesus and Mary

                Mary and Jesus ——> Sinless, Holy, Pure Hearts

                The New Eve is Mary
                The New Adam is Jesus

                Jesus came to show us the way of the Father —

                When we disobey —
                    We do it —
                    We have a free will —

                We can give into our wounded emotions
                    of the past —
                    act out unfinished business on innocent
                        others

                We never fool God —
                God bless us —
                We want to do Your will —
                Pardon us for our sins —
                Have mercy on us —
                Through Christ our Lord. Amen.

                Tomorrow is promised to no man —
                Why waste today, it may be our last —
                Say thanks to God who loves us and is
                    so good to us —

                God we thank Thee —
                Father, we give You ourselves
                We want to do Your will —
                We want to love
                We want to serve and honor and love You and
                    get to heaven —

                We praise and worship You Our God —

                Martyrs went before us

Matthew 7: 25

Rain came down, floods rose, gales blew and hurled themselves against that house, and it did not fall: it was founded on rock.

Psalm 119: 89-91, 135, 175

John 15: 5

November 26, 2006

                        I can never live the moments of
                                this day again.

                            When I go to bed tonight they will
                                be gone forever.

                                I must treasure each moment --

                            I have right now because I
                                can never have it back again.

                Song: Live This Day

                Song: Why Do We Hurt the Ones We Love

                Song: A Priest is a Gift from God

Psalm 23: 1-2

Yahweh is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
In grassy meadows he lets me lie.

By tranquil streams he leads me

                Thank You God for the Church
                Thank You for the priest
                Thank You for baptism
                Thank You for the Eucharist
                Thank You for penance
                Thank You for the other sacraments

                God has called us to be one happy family

John 17: 20-26

I pray not only for these
but also for those
who through their teaching
    will come to believe in me.
May they all be one,
just as, Father, you are in me
    and I am in you,
so that they also may be in us,
so that the world may believe
    it was you who sent me.
I have given them the glory
    you gave to me,
that they may be one as we are one.
With me in them and you in me,
may they be so perfected in unity
that the world will recognise
    that it was you who sent me
and that you have loved them
    as you have loved me.

Father,
I want those you have given me
to be with me where I am,
so that they may always see my glory
which you have given me
because you loved me
before the foundation of the world.
Father, Upright One,
the world has not known you,
but I have known you,
and these have known
that you have sent me.
I have made your name known to them a
nd will continue to make it known,
so that the love with which you loved me
may be in them,
and so that I may be in them.

 

                We have a free will

                ACCOUNTABLE  > Fr. Mike says

                Responsible

                Telling the truth about our offenses against
                    God —

                Sin hurts our relationship with God
                Sin hurts our relationship with others

                God wants us to be happy
                Sin makes us unhappy

                If you knew tonight you would die
                    would you live today differently

                Jesus is meek and tender of Heart —

                The opposite is combat

                Song: Give me a heart, Oh Jesus —
                        Give me a heart like yours

                Pray for peace, people everywhere

                We can live our days being

                    perfectionist    - we can't take things with us —
                                            endless, preoccupation with
                                            rules we make that can be robbing
                                            us of life and social relationships

                    slothfulness    - resistance, procrastinating, dawdling

                    over-submissive - impulsiveness (no control)
                                                temper outbursts
                                                lack of consideration for the
                                                rights of others

                    overindulgence   - greed, lust, gluttony

                    hypocondria    - health anxieties
                                            using health for excuse not to
                                                work or participate

                    punitiveness    - fierce revenge —
                                            punishing others for our darkness —
                                            passive-aggressive
                                            mean
                                            unloving
                                            hurting others

                    neglect           - can't feel close to others
                                           may start fights because of neglect in
                                           childhood - to keep others away —
                                           to keep others in combat with us

                    rejection        - think others don't accept us —
                                           can make things up

                The child of the past is still in there —
                    is the child demanding his own way and
                    we let him rule —
                    this is interfering with our adult life

                Parental attitudes about us — can be still
                    lived by us today — they can be
                    defeating and demanding and we
                    can be rebelling, against the way
                    God wants us to operate our own
                    and give into hurting others
                    ways we operate to hurt ourselves —
                    we can be our own worse enemy

                We can be self-isolating and pushing others
                    away through a style we used to
                    keep us in control and "safe we think" in
                    charge with others — alone in a
                    crowded room — making havoc for others —

                When God wants us to be holy
                                                    united
                                                    loving
                                                    pure
                                                    following His plan
                                                    contrite
                                                    forgiving
                                                    not hateful
                                                    etc.

                How our whole life we make ourselves
                    feel left out through our 'old style' —
                    what about God's will and our
                    vocation

                Punitive — darkness
                                anger inside we act out in
                                revenge against others for
                                our hatred and unforgiveness,
                                pride and lack of unity and love
                                we choose with our free will

                Overindulgence — don't stick to our job —

                Procrastinators for control
                                        getting others to run to us for
                                            needed work

                What kind of a child were you?
                Are you divided today —
                    Do you work in harmony with others?
                Does the child of the past rule with wounded emotions?

                Our Lady

                Angels who served God
                    St. Gabriel
                    St. Michael
                    St. Raphael
                    Our Guardian Angels

                Great saints — our friends
                    St. Joseph                St. Margaret Mary
                    St. Thomas              St. Teresa
                    St. Ignatius               All Saints
                    St. Claude

Tobit 13: 2-4, 7-8

For he both punishes and pardons;
he sends people down to the depths
    of the underworld
and draws them up
    from utter Destruction;
no one can escape his hand.
Declare his praise before the nations,
you who are the children of Israel!
For if he has scattered you among them,
there too he has shown you his greatness.
Extol him before all the living;
he is our Lord
and he is our God;
he is our Father,
and he is God for ever and ever.

I for my part extol God
and my soul rejoices
in the King of heaven.
Let his greatness be on every tongue,
his praises be sung in Jerusalem.

Matthew 28: 20

and teach them to observe all the commands I gave you. And look, I am with you always; yes, to the end of time.’

Mark 1: 15

                We must look at our past

                    Our parents attitudes toward us

                    How do they work in our minds today —
                        scolding, telling us we didn't
                        do as we should, etc.