Blue Book 8
 

R. Be with Jesus in the Garden of Getsemane, kneel beside Him, see the rocks, see His brown hair and His beautiful face. This is Jesus Christ, the Son of God. Be there and feel His presence and as you feel His presence, realize the presence of the Almighty God within your hearts: Father, Son and Holy Spirit dwelling in our graced baptized soul. At this moment you are surrounded by Their Divine Love and your heart is burning within you, as you kneel beside the Almighty God.

    We do not realize how close He truly is to us, that He wants to be one with us, through Him, with him, and in Him, that He calls us for this union He wants, to this oneness with Him. As we mediate on the mysteries of this rosary, let us unite in this oneness with the Almighty God who cries out from every tabernacle in this world - cries out deep cries of His burning love and they fall on deaf ears, who comes to us and gives Himself to us in the Holy Eucharist and is ignored and forgotten and treated with such indifference.

    Jesus Christ, the Son of God, waits in all the tabernacles of the world in the Sacrament of greatest love, waiting a prisoner for His beloved souls to come and to be with Him. As present as the day that He knelt in the garden, in His Divinity and humanity, Jesus waits in the tabernacle, and we kneel before Him in front of the tabernacle, as we imagine that we knelt next to Him in the garden. This is the love that the Almighty God has for us. He remains with us this day and is forgotten and ignored. He calls out to His beloved souls, "Come to Me, you are blind and you are deaf, you do not know the great gifts that you are given. I am waiting and waiting for you to come. Come to Me, My beloved souls. I long and thirst to unite in deepest union with you."

    We search this barren desert for things to fill our starved soul, when nothing on the face of the earth will fill the starved soul but the love of God and He is waiting and longing and thirsting for us to come and be with Him.

    O, beloved Jesus, truly present in the tabernacle, give us the grace to realize this great gift we are given, to cherish every single moment that we are in the presence of the Almighty God, to never take this for granted, to thank You endlessly for the great gift You have given to us, the gift of Yourself, that You are truly present, the gift that You give us in the Holy Eucharist, and Your Heart was in such anguish in the garden, Your Heart of deepest love for all the souls that would treat You with such indifference and neglect. Your Heart of burning love is so often ignored and forgotten. My precious One, let me help make reparation to Your adorable Heart for all that You suffered in the garden for Your beloved souls who have forgotten You.

“O Burning heart, O love divine, how dear you are to me. I see the host, I know you are here to love and care for me.”

 

 

September 16, 1995

Feel His Presence in the Tabernacle

R. I remember those precious moments with my beloved Jesus as so sacred to me. I reminisce on all the times He touched me and the times I speak with Him and I cry because I love Him so much.

    How precious indeed is the time I get to spend alone with Him in front of the tabernacle. I wrote my first love letter to Him on November 13, 1994, not knowing what to say. With His grace He has taught me to love Him more and more. I love Him so much. With my every breath, I give myself to Him in complete surrender. He is all I want.

    I feel His presence so strong in the tabernacle. I missed these quiet morning times alone with Him.

    I had many visions of doors. They were not the doors I thought I would go through. I thought I would have a better life on earth, peace in the middle of all my worldly affairs. Jesus gave me His life. I have found peace in Him, life in Him. I would not have had the peace that I craved with the desires of my heart. It is only in Him I found peace, only in Him I found joy in the midst of struggle. I am at peace in Him.

    The tabernacle is so dear to me. He is so dear to me. The Father is so dear to me. The Holy Spirit is so dear to me!

  

   

September 16, 1995 - 8:30am After Mass

I Am in Their Hearts

R. In the inner sanctuary of His Heart, I am enveloped by His beating Heart and that of His Mother's. It is as if I see red inside and can go within, I am given great grace and strengthened. I can be beaten, scourged, or wounded, pressed on and in this inner sanctuary of His Heart (red and dark), I am engulfed by His love. So secure, so close, I could be knocked on, hit, rained on, blown, insulted, spit on, and yet within this red-dark secure room I will feel no attack from the outside.

    I hold myself close and cherish the presence of the Almighty God within me with such reverence and sacredness. I see a red disk, dark inner chamber. I hold myself tightly enclosed about this chamber. The focus is within, for within He strengthens me, this is my refuge, I know the light and peace and love and warmth, the state of being one in Him. As I feel at this moment united to my precious bridegroom, I want to forever remain united and enveloped around this inner chamber of His love.

    I see clearly this red-dark place, its warmth within me. My life, spent in service to others to tell about the inner sanctuary of His Heart, I am joined in such oneness with Mary's heart.

    The heart being the center of His burning love, so red and slightly lighted now as I speak about this chamber - it glows ever so brightly with His burning love. The chamber of His Heart is within, where I dwell in Him, and am engulfed in His burning love.

    I love, I love, I love Jesus. How precious to me is the gift of my God. How precious His burning Heart of His love! I feel this grabbing in my heart, pulling me in. After yesterday I have an awareness of feeling in my heart area - it is a grabbing feeling, a closing in, an embrace, the deep embrace of His burning love.

    If I never go anywhere, if I can just lay waste in His precious love - this burning, grabbing in my chest. yesterday after the pain I had a burning feeling, then it went away and I prayed the rosary with my children.

    My heart area hurt so badly on my left side, I wanted to close in and buckle over. This is like a stigmata. I could not take my focus off of Him, a constant awareness of His presence.

    This is the feast of two martyrs - this is how they withstood pain, they had His presence within.

    Intense pain within my chest. He could withstand the beatings, the pain within was His main focus. Not a physical pain, a gripping, aching, pulling pain. He gave me a writing this morning on enduring the sufferings. The pain is not going away.

  

  

September 15, 1995 - Feast of Our Sorrowful Mother

You Will Suffer Until You Carry the Rosary to the World

R. I went to Holy Cross-Immaculata Church. I wanted to scream. I cried so hard but couldn't get it out, such intense feeling of His sorrow - Her sorrow!

    After Mass I wanted to get down on the floor, roll up in a ball. Worst of all I couldn't scream nor cry. I felt intense pain, especially on my left side, wanted to hold on to my heart, but nothing, nothing relieves the pain.

    The night before last Wednesday I cried so hard, felt all the sorrowful experiences Mary has let me suffer and Jesus has let me suffer - the pain of both Hearts. Nothing, nothing will relieve this pain.

    I opened up the book to four places the day before yesterday - she was crying for her little, lost children that would go to hell.

    If I open my arms I get a terrible pain. My heart hurts so badly, not a real pain, nothing I can touch. Nothing relieves it. I want to roll up as tight as possible. I know Him so well in my heart. I love Him so much in my heart. I am one in Him in my heart. My heart hurts so badly - such pain in my heart, and in my side.

  

  

September 16, 1995

The Agony of the Heart

R. I am crying out. I know more His life, death and resurrection in my life this day. I feel the struggle. I feel the pain. I must learn to go to the interior room, the sanctuary of my heart. Deeper and deeper, I go into my interior life.

    The pain is experienced inside, the joy is experienced inside. So as I am in the heart, I am to the world. He wore the marks of bloodshed. His heart knew the real pain. The agony of the heart, the real pain in both the Hearts of Jesus and Mary, the buckling over with the pain of the heart.

    Mary appears with a sword in her heart. Jesus appears with a lance in His. Jesus shows us the Heart. Jesus shows us the wounds, but we try to relieve our pain and get rid of our discomfort. Jesus and Mary come with Hearts filled with deepest love, but the wounds are present, the sword is still in the heart of Mary.

    Why do They come and show us the blood in Their eyes, the bloodied face? Can we rise to new life without the suffering? Why do we try to eliminate the struggle? Jesus carried the cross. Jesus showed us His endurance. We are given crosses - we say, Lord, take them away, not realizing that in the cross comes the life. I feel many times I am down and I wait anxiously for the lifting of my cross. I look for relief, for a momentary pleasure such as food, ice cream, etc. But, Jesus allows the suffering. It comes when it comes. It is lifted when Jesus lifts it. I see the endurance of Jesus when Jesus carried His cross. I see His endurance during the Passion. I see them spit on Him, tear His flesh, crown Him, whip Him and He endured all to His death. He died on the cross. See the glory of the Resurrection - the light of day! It was followed by the Ascension. We are given the Eucharist. Jesus gives, Jesus takes, Jesus knows all things. I want to relieve the suffering many times.

    What of endurance? Do I model my life after Christ? Do I realize Jesus allows us to suffer, that in His permissive will He allows suffering. My every breath and my every heartbeat I surrender to Him. I give myself to Him. The very hairs of my head are numbered.

    Jesus gives me life. Jesus allows me to struggle. It takes as long as it takes. Why do I, in my willfulness, try to relieve that which Jesus is allowing me to experience many times.

    I feel the pain, it lasts so long. Jesus gave to me suffering of His Heart, His Mother's heart. It comes unannounced. The deep ache lasts for as long as He decides. He takes it away when I have experienced what He wants me to learn.

    I cannot, at any time, stop it. It is His decision to take it away. I want to live according to the Father's will. If I know it is His will to wait and suffer I should do it His way. This can be a great gift given to me to give me insight into His pain, suffered during the Passion. It is in meditating, and knowing more about this, that I know more of His life. So why do I want to give up the pain? The pain leads to the glory. The pain leads to identifying in His suffering.    Death/Resurrection

    Surrender, He says to me. Surrender. When will I learn to let go? Jesus, I want to receive the grace to accept all You send me. For I know, dear Jesus, how You love me. You are giving to me a sharing in Your life.

    At this moment He chooses to give me insight into His suffering and so then the light steals across the sky and I see the beauty of the new day. In the death is the resurrection. In the pain is the joy. In His life I understand deeper the mystery of His love. He gives to me as I need. I carry within my heart His life, death and resurrection in my life. I live the Scriptures in my life. I live by His Word. I spread the Gospel message. I live the Gospel message.

    Prepare in the wilderness a highway for the Lord. Jesus is God. God chose Mary.  

John 1: 14  The Word became flesh, he lived among us..."  

R. John the Baptist prepared the way of the Lord. He ate locust and labored for love of His beloved God. He was given a special calling, a special mission, a special grace to carry out that mission.

    We are called His apostles, we have been chosen as shepherds to lead the flock back to His burning love. As John the Baptist was called, we are called. We are commissioned by Baptism to carry out His life, death and resurrection in our lives. To try to eliminate the cross is to miss the resurrection. We are given the graces we need to carry out this mission. Our true home is heaven. We were made to go to heaven. We are made to live the Christ-life in our lives on earth and go to heaven and be forever united with our beloved God for all eternity. God calls us to service. God calls us to praise Him and worship Him. God calls us to union with Him. Jesus calls us to live in His Heart, to live in the Father's will. Jesus came - Jesus showed us the way. So many this day dress the body, adorn the flesh, go from pleasure to pleasure, trying to ease the pain, trying to avoid the struggle, trying to make this earthly life the end.

    The struggle is with ourselves. He plainly comes and shows us the cross. He shows us His body, arms outstretched, hands and feet nailed, head crowned with thorns, blood-covered, withered, body. We watch the world that takes its pain pills and powders its face, that lifts its face and forgets to lift their hearts. We see the world that dresses its body and allows its soul to wither inside. Jesus shows us the outside of His body covered with wounds and death. Jesus shows us His Sacred Heart on fire for love of us. His Heart was pierced. Death has no power over Jesus. Many of us have our priorities inside out. We adorn the body, making it soft and filled with light on the outside and inside our hearts are withered, cold and filled with darkness.

    The light of Christ shown from the inside!

 

 

September 18, 1995 - After Mass - 1:30pm

R. I saw the flicker after Communion as if I were in a red room, but more intense, with yellow light.

All trust in Him - I gave Him myself, whatever it takes to be closer to Him. One moment in the red room - the intensity of the heat, the glow of the room, as it went in and out from His beating, burning love.

    I love the Eucharist, reminiscing on all the special moments I have had with my lover, my beloved, moments in front of the tabernacle, drawing closer and closer to Him.

    I live my life. I am waiting daily Mass. At Communion I saw a halo - kept coming and going on the consecrated host on the paten. I feel the intense glow of His love, warm - such joy. Through Him, With Him and in Him.

    I am laid waste in His precious love. Like glowing embers, on and off - I love the Eucharist with my deepest love! Let me put my head on Your chest. My heart is burning for love of You. My heart is burning now from the Holy Eucharist one hour ago.

    I come and sit with Him in front of the tabernacle and tell Him all my problems and He talks to me. I love Him so much!

 

 

September 19, 1995

THIS IS AN URGENT CALL

R. I learn about myself from dealing with someone who loves me. God overwhelmingly loves me and I am uniquely precious to Him.

The great tragedy concerning human suffering is not that there is so much of it. The real tragedy is that apparently so much of it is wasted. So much of it apparently is not coped with according to God's will.²⁴

God has a unique purpose for us in the building of the Kingdom. We are to realize how much God loves us. We are responding by loving God first, our neighbor as ourselves as God intended.

"Now a great sign appeared in heaven: a woman, robed with the sun, standing on the moon, and on her head a crown of twelve stars." (Rv. 12:1)

We are walking in darkness. The moon is under her feet. The light inside does not flicker, or fade, it forever remains burning bright. She has conquered the dark night, and her head is adorned with a crown of glory. The stars show about her head, crowning her in celestial light.

Mary is the Mediatrix of all graces. We receive His life through her heart.

She is the lamp that lights the way. We are her children of light. We go to Christ through her. She is adorned in light, she is full of grace. We go through her to her Son.

Ps. 23:1-3

Yahweh is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
In grassy meadows he lets me lie.
By tranquil streams he leads me
to restore my spirit.
He guides me in paths of saving justice
as befits his name.

R. Immediately after hearing this, I looked up and saw "the Lord is My Shepherd" on a cloth in my room.

He is here. He is shepherding us in the darkness. It is through Our Lady of Light we are led through the darkness.

We must keep praying the rosary and spreading the consecration.

She will light up the earth with her children of light, set ablaze by the burning embers of His love within.

I see the red room. I see the glow of His love.

We are the children of the light. Mary is our mother. Our Father is forever with us and dwelling in our hearts. Who are we to fear? Led by the Holy Spirit in the heart of our Mother, we are called to shepherd the flock.

He is the Chief Shepherd of the flock, leading our actions. His burning love is deep in our hearts.

Through Him, with Him, and in Him, in the unity of the Holy Spirit!

  

   

September 20, 1995

HE GIVES US GREAT GIFTS

R. My heart was hurting on the way down, after Communion. It hurts now. I realize how much I want to be loved and told that I am loved.

My heart hurts. Jesus, too, wants so deeply to be loved by us. He wants us to tell Him of our love.

He gives to us such great gifts. He gives us the gift of Himself, and we are so ungrateful. He wants us to be thankful, to love Him.

Jesus: You will continue to suffer My Heartache. I am giving to you My pain in your heart to have My constant presence with you. As you ache in your heart, you will know My heartache for souls.

    I am calling you to circulate these tapes and the Second Blue Book. Satan will do everything to stop the tapes. Tell Cathy to help you with the rosary tapes.

    I am Jesus. These tapes will turn many hearts to My infinite love. You will suffer a constant aching in your heart. I want you to pray the rosary.

R. There is such intimacy between Him and me. (to try to share this heartache with the world is to be laughed at and scorned, but I see Him laying on the ground and His hands nailed to the cross. I see Him, His hand on the cross. I see Him placed in the arms of His Mother, dead. I see Him laid in the tomb. I feel this ache in my heart now - it feels as if it will not go away.

I love Him so much. I am so connected to His pain and her pain. I have felt His overwhelming love.

I understand the death-resurrection. I understand and have experienced the heartache, the pain so deep and unexplainable in words or actions. I understand the ecstasy to feel the overwhelming love of God the Father and to know His love, to know how He has taught me so much and He created me.

I know the love of the Son, my beloved Bridegroom, the tenderness, the intimacy, the knowing, deep within me, indescribable by any words or actions. By being in such oneness with Him, I love Him so deeply.

I know the love of the Holy Spirit. I love Him so much. He is my best Friend. He moves in me and gives me His love, His wisdom, His knowledge. I feel His presence forever with me, a vibrating force within me.

I feel, I feel, I feel - I know, I know, I know, it is not words spoken, it is oneness to unite with the Almighty God, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. My God, my beloved God, my sweet God, God is in my whole heart, my whole soul, and my whole being.

I know God. I love God. I seek God. God, God, God - my All! My delight to exist in Him!

Oh burning Heart, oh love Divine, how sweet You are to me.

No one to hear. He is revealing such truths to me, but the world is willful and centered on self.

I am a messenger, a messenger to deliver His revelations on His burning love for mankind. Jesus is alive and with us.

Many men have made this world their end. They are dying inside from the lack of real life, life rooted in Him.

I cry out from my aching heart. I love my God, I surrender, I sacrifice myself to You. I want to tell all the Good News. I am backed against a wall and I surrender. I endure all You send me and love You more for this suffering. It is in suffering I am so close to Thee. I love You, I love You, I love You.

On Pentecost, my heart ached for about one and a half hours. It felt as if there was a sword in it. On Pentecost, I suffered this ache in my heart, for her heart ached constantly from the time of the prophesy of Simeon. I understand some of her pain in my heart.

He opened Himself up to us.

Do you know what it is to love and be rejected?

He gave Himself. His Heart was pierced with a lance and what flowed out was blood and water, His blood pointing to the Eucharist, the water pointing to Baptism! His Heart poured out His great mercy and love. He opened Himself. He gave Himself. He knows our heart far better than we know our own heart, yet we remain so closed to Him.

How can we hide from God? God, who knows and loves us? We are given a free will. We can chose to love Him, or not. Many times in our arrogance and pride we shut ourselves off from Him.

Jesus: I am the way, the truth and the life, what flowed forth from My Heart was blood and water. Do you see how I opened Myself for you, yet you remain so closed, you lack trust, you lack faith.

    I am on fire for love of you this day, Rita. Do not give into the devil that tempts you to feel so bad. I love you so much. You must have faith in this love I have for you.

R. He is on fire for love of us. We must not give into the devil who tempts us to give into negative thinking. Jesus loves us so much. We should take our precious moments to tell Him how much we love Him. We must have faith in His love for us.

I just want to be in the red room - it was so real!

Jesus: It was real, My sweet one, My Heart is on fire and glowing for you. You will experience sorrow, pain and hardship and you will grow closer to Me. You will feel My pain in the Passion. You will be connected to My sufferings and My life. Meditate all through the day on My life, given for you. I am alive. I am alive. I am alive.

R. He is alive in our lives. We must meditate on His life. We want to live in Him. We want to identify all of our actions with His actions. We identify our sufferings with His. We live His life in our lives. We carry out His life, death, and Resurrection in our lives.

My Heart hurt before Mass tonight at Holy Cross-Immaculata.

 

September 21, 1995

HOT AND COLD SOULS

R. The hot and cold souls. He has allowed me to suffer much since the feast of the Sorrowful Mother and two or three days before. My heart aches so intently now, but I feel relief that He has talked to me. 

I understand more and more the anguish Their Hearts suffered.

I see Jesus as He kneels in the garden, the darkness of the night, such pain beyond belief to know in His knowing all the sins, all the rejection of all of the hearts of all time, His personal love for each and experience the pain.

I want to roll up in a ball and scream or do something but nothing, nothing will relieve this pain so deep within.

Then the angel appeared to Him in the garden to comfort Him. He comforted me in my suffering and I feel relief, but the pain in my chest, the ache continues.

How He suffered for those souls who love Him, and then in their busyness forget about Him and fill their hearts with the pleasures of the world. How He intently loves His beloved religious. They were called by Him to unite in a special espousal relationship with Him. How He suffered in the garden for the religious, His chosen ones who go to the world for their love. A holy priest, sister, and brother gave Him such comfort with their love. As He suffered so much agony to His Heart all through His bitter passion, the acts of great love were such sweetness to His wounded Heart.

Yesterday, I had the ache most of the day. I felt as if I had swords in my heart for one and a half hours. Mary had a constant ache in her heart since the time of the prophecy of Simeon.

I prayed to my Father as a little child, and He gave me relief. This happened on the day after I led the rosary and Fr. Carter consecrated Ellen's house to the Sacred Heart of Jesus and the Immaculate Heart of Mary. I opened up my notebook and read, "If you then, evil as you are, know how to give your children what is good, how much more will the heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!" (Lk. 11:13)

Personal Vision: Vision of a face - mostly one eye
Head on - looking straight
One eye really pronounced
One side of nose a little faint
wanted to know if it was God the Father or God.

I had a second Vision:
I saw two people carrying a brown square box. One of those cardboard storage boxes. I think it was Mary. It was in the driveway at home. The box turned into a white coffin-like -- two people came out.

A Dream:

Dreamt of babies in the sky last night - blue sky, but kids were taking a baby (2 kids). Baby started to drown, I pulled it out of the water... it had water in the throat - my family was there --

From the time of Adam to the Resurrection and Ascension of Jesus into heaven, how were the lives of the people of the human family? It is through Him that we are restored to new life. His way is the way. He takes on a human nature. He is the New Adam and Mary is the New Eve. Mary and Jesus both suffered such agony to Their Hearts. Think of the swords invisible piercing the heart of Mary. His Heart suffered such anguish, His Heart was pierced with a lance. Jesus and Mary appear and show us Their Hearts. Their Hearts are surrounded by thorns. In love there is suffering.

It is in suffering, we go more deeply into His life. Jesus was taken to the temple. "Simeon blessed them and said to Mary his mother, 'Look, he is destined for the fall and for the rise of many in Israel, destined to be a sign that is opposed-and a sword will pierce your soul too-so that the secret thoughts of many may be laid bare.'" (Lk. 2:34-35)

Mary pondered all these things in her heart.

Mary had an ache in her heart since the prophecy of Simeon.

She knew many souls would be lost.

The Christ Child lived in the womb of the Virgin Mary. How blessed this womb to hold the Son of God. Think of the inner dwelling of Mary's body holding the Son of God.

She is our Mother, so graced is she, the Mediatrix of all graces. We go to her heart which dwells in the Heart of Jesus. We are bathed by this life.

Oh Holy dwelling place of God! How holy we should be to hold Him in us after Communion. How holy we are that He gives us His divine life and He lives in us, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. He lives in us; we carry out His life, death, and Resurrection in our lives. Through the struggle - we are brought to a deeper life in Him. There would not be the resurrection without the death.

Mary is contemplative in action. She went to Elizabeth's house. The Source of life is in Him. We must go to Him for our life. We must not look other places for the Source of life. We must have this interior connection to Him or the outside world will press in on us. The real Source is within us. We must go to our hearts. When we are baptized and in the state of grace the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit dwell in us in a special way. We must see Him in others. We must see Him in the world.

He is my center. It is in Him I have peace, love and joy.

 

 

September 20, 1995

THROUGH HIM, WITH HIM AND IN HIM

R. Through Him, with Him, in Him, let us share in His Divinity, He Who humbled Himself to share in our humanity. Let us feel each word in our hearts. Let the Spirit move within us at Mass. Let us come to Mass with a humble heart. Let us hear the Living Word of God delivered from the lips of His holy chosen priests. Let us give ourselves to the Father as a sacrifice united to Jesus. Let us hear the words of Jesus spoken through His holy priests, "This is My Body. This is My Blood."

I was overwhelmed by the love of the Father. I saw all of my faults. I felt so small compared to the magnitude of God. He comes to us on our tongue in the Eucharist. How holy is our tongue? Please sanctify my heart, oh Holy Spirit, that I may love God more. At the Consecration, let me die to all the things that are not of God that I may be saturated more and more with Your life. Let me love all and remove the debris in my heart.

I see the priest merge with Jesus at Mass. I see Him offering Himself to the Father. I see Jesus at the last supper.

I felt the oneness between the Father and the Son in a special way. I love each word spoken in the Mass. I feel it inside of me. I love the Mass so much. Pray for grace to know, love, and serve God more. I pray for grace to celebrate the Mass with the priest, with greater depths of union with God. The Mass is the greatest source of oneness with God and with each other. The priest merges with Jesus in a special way when celebrating the Mass. Heaven and earth unite at the Consecration. We are one body in Him, all of us joined in deepest love with God. He gives Himself to us, and we give ourselves to Him. As we become one in Him, as we unite deeper in Him, we unite with one another.

 

 

September 23, 1995

HE GAVE HIMSELF; LET US GIVE OURSELVES

Depth, deeper and deeper in Him. Through Him, with Him, and in Him. In the red room, in the pierced Heart, I envision the pulsating embers. I feel the pain in my foot, I feel the ache deep in my chest. It is a pain I cannot touch, I cannot express it, I feel this in this deep oneness with Him.

I see His wounds; it is the depth of the wounds. He was pierced all the way through. He shows us that despite all of His suffering and death, they pierced His precious Heart. And from His pierced Heart the Church was born.

The pain in the Church is deep. We must spread the message of His burning love. His love is penetrating, His love is so deep. Do we see His pierced Heart? Do we see the wounds that go all the way through. His love is infinite.

Jesus' love is so deep. I see the red room, the sanctuary of His Heart. I feel pain within, not a surface love.

He shows us the Hearts, pierced. We see the body wounded, but the hands and feet were pierced all the way through.

We eat His Body. How more intimate is this - we drink His Blood. We are blind. We do not see. We do not feel.

We go through motions, when He wants oneness. Open our eyes. As we look at the sun, we see such power. Let us unite deeply in our hearts and in this oneness realize the power of the Almighty God living within us. Let us realize the blinding light of His presence within us.

Let us give ourselves. He gave Himself. Let us hold nothing back. Let our every breath and heartbeat be taken only to unite deeper and deeper to the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, living within us. The power is in this union. He will light this world through us, for we are among the children of the light.

Jesus and Mary want to be with us! They want to be so close to us!

Our union with each other is in uniting in such oneness to Him.

Agony in the Garden:
Jesus spoke clearly to them. They did not understand the things He said. Many He spoke to were stiff-necked, they were closed in their hearts. They didn't want the message. He knelt in the garden. In His knowing, He knew all things. He was ignored. They put Him to death! He knew all the sins of all men for all time. He saw all of His sufferings. He suffered such agony that we can not even comprehend in our minds. Feel the pain as they pound the nails into His hands and feet. Several men working on Him at once, we cannot even stand one person who treats us nasty!

He had many people persecuting Him.

When we pray, feel His pain, feel His joy. Meditate on the mysteries of the rosary.

Do I experience Jesus within me, alive in me - alive in me? Do I control my life or do I surrender to the will of God? I see Him hanging on the cross. He gave His all willingly. At the Consecration of the Mass I give myself as a sacrifice united to Jesus, to the Father. This is freedom, to give myself to my Father, to turn my life over to Him, to obey Him, to surrender myself to Him. This is what God wants. This gives us real freedom, total dependency on God as I unite to Jesus in all my actions. He lives in me. I must identify with Him in every action. I offer myself totally to the Father. All my actions united to Jesus become my sacrifice given to the Father. When I offer my actions united to Jesus, my offering is a most pleasing offering given to the Father. What a gift to be able to unite with the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass in all of our offerings all through the day. Dear Father, I offer you all my prayers, works, joys, and sufferings in union with the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass throughout the world, in the Holy Spirit, with all the angels and saints and the souls in purgatory.

Let Him live in you. Experience Him alive in you. Unite in Him, with Him, and through Him. Experience the words of the Mass - it is the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass!

Do I come and ask to be made holy to unite more deeply in Him? Do I offer myself as a sacrifice with Him to the Father?

Do I see the whole heavenly court praising God? Unite and praise God, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit with the priest as we partake in Christ's priesthood and victimhood in this Holy Sacrifice. Do I unite to Him? Do I allow Him to live in me? My every action should be an action of Christ living within me. If I am praying at church, if I am at work, if I am talking to my family, if I am talking to friends, I am united to Jesus, and He lives in me. It is His light that shines from my eyes. Others see Jesus alive in me. I said to my 16 year old daughter, "Jesus' love is so gentle and kind." She was so beautiful laying in bed next to her Jesus pillow. I gave her a kiss. In all of our actions with others, Jesus unites with us and gives His love to others through us. We must pray for the grace to be more deeply united to Him.

The love Jesus wants to share with us is so much more than words, than kisses, than hugs. Jesus wants to unite in oneness with us. His love is penetrating. It is being in Him. I live in Him. He lives in me. Far deeper than a kiss or any means of human expression, there is such a depth to the oneness I experience with Him.

The sun always shines after the night. The sun is such a joy - it is so bright and beautiful. If I look to the sky, I see beauty beyond all beauty. I see the sunset with such glory over the vast ocean. I see the sky adorned with the deepest hues. I see the woodland forest covered in such splendor with the new fallen snow. Only the might of the Almighty God could create such beauty. In contrast, I look at the man-made objects of this world. It is so simple. We are so blind. The Almighty God is alive in this world today. Let us unite with Him and realize the great gifts that He gives to us and thank Him and let Him unite in deepest union with us.

 

 

September 24, 1995

EXPERIENCE HIS PRESENCE WITHIN YOU

R. Think of the sun and its awesomeness. Think of the sun looking like the Eucharist.

If we could see the Almighty God in the Eucharist, with all His might, it would blind us so much more than the sun. Yet, so nonchalantly we receive Jesus in the Eucharist. He is God. He is almighty. He has all the power, and He comes to us!

Let us bend and bow low for we are given God. Let us kiss the floor. Let us pray for the grace to know His constant presence within us to keep us focused on Him. Let us see with eyes that are filled with love, powered by the Spirit within.

Let us see God in one another, the reflection of their Creator. See God in our world and experience His presence within us.

 

 

September 25, 1995

TO LIVE WITHOUT HIM IS MERE EXISTENCE

R. The more deeply we are one in Him, the more deeply we unite to others. How we unite to others is directly correlated to how one we are in Him. I realized my union with the Trinity. I realized my oneness with the Father. I realized my oneness with the Holy Spirit.

Since September 14, I have been developing a deeper union with the Father. I read, "If you then, evil as you are, know how to give your children what is good, how much more will the heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!" (Lk. 11:13)

I am knowing the Father more; being one with Jesus is being one with the Father.
Knowing the Father - being one in Him.
Knowing the Holy Spirit - being one in Him.
Knowing Jesus - being one in Him.

I realized the presence of all three Persons at Mass. It is such joy for all eternity to know that we will unite with the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit if we love and serve God now!

My heart burns to know You, my Beloved, to see the blue sky and the sunlit day, to see You alive in others, to see Your life in a flower, but most of all, to unite more and more deeply in my whole being with You. As I breathe, I know that the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit live and dwell in me. Life is life in Him. He is life; to live in Him is to live. To live without loving Him is mere existence.

I see the trees against the blue sky. They are in beautiful fall foliage but are withering and dying. As I die to myself, I will be cut back and new growth will come - growth saturated deeply with His life.

It is painful to be cut back - it is in this that you will be filled with a vibrant life. If the old leaves do not fall and die, the new leaves will not sprout.

I long for the outside and the glory in His world, the beauty of the sky, the life in the world - it means so much to me. To go to the cemetery and sit, I realized how this world is so temporary. The trees continue to live-I see His life in the trees and grass. I see His reflection in the world, the beautiful sky, the sun. It is only in being rooted in Him that we have what really counts.

There are some bodies of saints in the cemetery. The souls of these saints are in heaven. Some of the souls of these bodies in the cemetery are now in purgatory. Some of the souls of these bodies in the cemetery are in hell. The body is not as important as the soul. In Him we find Life! I love You! I love You! I love You!

 

 

September 28, 1995

BEHOLD THE FACE

R. I saw the face of Mary on July 5, 1994, so sorrowful - words cannot express what I saw. Jesus saw the face on the way to Calvary. How could anyone describe the face Christ saw as Mary walked this nightmare path!

I feel I am suffering, and I want relief. Behold the face of Mary on the way to Calvary. Behold the face of Christ as Mary looked at Him. Endurance! His face was covered with blood and wounds and His head crowned with thorns. This was the face of Mary - this was the face of Jesus. Behold the face. His way is the way of the cross. In all the suffering, Jesus and Mary were comforted as They peered into each others eyes. Let us be wrapped in the love of these two Hearts. Pure love unites with pure love and we are caught in this embrace. This love is found in dwelling in Their Hearts. We are comforted by Their love despite great suffering.

I think, oh Lord, it is so hard this day, so hard - how much must I endure? Then I looked at the third station in Holy Cross-Immaculata Catholic Church and saw Him spread out on the ground, His chin pasted to the ground, His eyes looking out to the world. He was persecuted, rejected, scorned. He was put to death!

See the holy face of Jesus. Behold the face of Mary on the way to Calvary. Mary's cry - the same cry for the little, lost children of this world.

Behold the Lamb of God Who takes away the sins of the world, Who carries our burdens. How do I carry mine? His way is the cross. I see more and more the purpose of praying the Stations. It is through these Stations, the Sorrowful mysteries and the Seven Sorrows, that I find strength to carry the little crosses.

I am so blind. I do not even know the great gifts I am given. I am given the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass. Jesus gives Himself to me in the Holy Eucharist. Father, Son and Holy Spirit dwell within me. I have a sharing in His divine life. He gives me a car and a license. He gives me my home, gas, and food. I am so ungrateful thinking how hard it is! There are so many gifts given to me that I do not even consider.

Behold the Lamb of God and the face of Mary. Behold Jesus Who carries our burdens. To unite to Him is to follow His bloody footprints. I am so weak - such little crosses I endure and I complain profusely.

Lamb of God! Help me to be like You more and more and to unite with You in deepest union!

He looked from the cross and saw His beloved Mother. What of the Heart of Jesus on the cross to see Mary and John at the foot of His cross? He carries our burdens, and we complain. What about the gift of life we are given daily? Who are we that the Almighty God unites to us?

 

September 29, 1995

Today, I didn't get to go in front of the tabernacle and how I suffered! After supper I felt the greatest sufferings ever, and I knew how He sweat blood.

 

September 30, 1995

IN BAPTISM, HE LIVES IN US

I have been suffering since September 13th, yesterday was the worst ever. Last night, coming home from dinner, I knew why He sweat blood. I know His pain. Today, Saturday afternoon, I have pain in my left side of my heart all the time.

I went to Communion at St. Boniface Catholic Church, Fr. Joe's Church. I begged Him to give me a sign that He wanted me to continue what I am doing. Immediately I smelled roses -- Such a gift!

St. Paul: "You cannot have forgotten that all of us, when we were baptized into Christ Jesus, were baptized into his death. So by our baptism into his death we were buried with him, so that as Christ was raised from the dead by the Father's glorious power, we too should begin living a new life." (Rm. 6:3-4)

We are incorporated into Him in Baptism. He lives in us. We carry out His life, death, and Resurrection in our lives, as He is alive in us this day.

We die with Him. We rise in Him.

Death - Resurrection

Dying in Him, living in Him, as He lives in us.

 

 

July 6, 1995 - After Communion - 1:30pm

R. I realized the presence of the Almighty God. Who am I? I am so unworthy that He comes to me!

    I cannot, in any way, give love to Him the way I want to. I long to love Him so much more. I want to love Him more and am unable - only through His grace am I able to give Him more love.

    I want to know more. Dear God, please give me Wisdom. Impart to me insight into the Divine Mysteries. I want to understand you more and more. Words do not exist to describe You.

Jesus: I am the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end. I give to you abundantly, according to your needs.

R. I go to Jesus through Mary's heart. Her heart is so pure, I go through her heart. My heart is not pure.

   

  

July 7, 1995 - 6:00am

R. First Friday: Such an experience of the presence of God, as if I am lost totally in Him. I am aware of His presence before the Blessed Sacrament and my overwhelming love for God. I am aware of His greatness and this great gift to be in this room with Him. I love Him so much. My tears are from deep within that I cannot express my love for Him more. I dwell in Mary's heart and she dwells in the Heart of my beloved Savior. Come to me Lord and possess my soul.

    I do not feel rest in my heart. My heart burns to unite ever so close to Him. I want to go and be in the deepest union with Him. I want to be pure and holy, to unite every closer, but I am so far from this state of holiness. But - I long and long, and long for deeper union with Him.

    I did not want to write. I just want to be in Him, be lost for hours and hours and no one around and just be lost in Him. No time, no bounds, just a complete letting go and be wrapped in His Divine embrace, immersed in the vat of His endless love. I long, I thirst, I seek, I want this completeness, this oneness with Him, to be lost in an endless abyss of His burning love.

    I feel His presence in this room in the Blessed Sacrament. I love this gift of Jesus truly present in the Blessed Sacrament. He is so near, but so far, to know a little - to want so much more!

    I smelled roses all through the Mass celebrated for the children. Also smelled the roses before the Mass. I want the time I am with others to be special, to share His love. I am to be His light to this world. I see myself in my humanness, as complaining and fretting. It is in surrendering to Him that I have deep intimacy with Him, a letting go of distractions and focusing on Him, my beloved - all powerful Lord.

    Jesus' pain did not stop. I may receive an intense pain, so penetrating and piercing, so painful, but it goes away and there is release. Jesus' pain for so many hours continued, no release. We carry these little crosses and want instant release. There was not a release for one moment.

Jesus: They gave to Me vinegar mixed with gall. I accepted this as I accepted all My sufferings. Without any relief, I continued My way.

R. My Father is within me at every moment. (I realized this and got chills inside.) The Father always loves me with the greatest love. I am His creation. I should live as a little child, to please my Father.

    I thank God for His great love! From the pierced Heart of Christ, the Church was born, - from the pierced side flowed forth blood and water - the sacramental life of the Church.

R. The Church is the fountain of His life.

    We are called to live the life, death and resurrection in our lives. A fountain of life, the Church, flowing on God's people. His abundant grace flows through the Mass.

    Life flows from the Father, in the Holy Spirit, through the pierced Heart of Jesus, through the heart of Mary to us. We are one body. The life flows through us. It feeds us and makes us whole.

 

 

July 27, 1995

Death Resurrection

R. My life - a constant dying and rising, as I live the Pascal mystery!

    I unite in my every moment with the Mass. My whole life is united in the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass. I see myself, the nails piercing my hands and feet, my head is punctured and my side lanced. I want to be one in Him, to die with Him and to rise with Him.

Jesus: You live the mystery of My life, death and resurrection in your life.

Galatians 2: 19-20

...I have been crucified with Christ and yet I am alive; yet it is no longer I, but Christ living in me.

R. I see myself on the cross with Him. This gives me great joy for it is in sharing in His cross I am brought to new life. My whole goal is to partake more and more fully in the life of Christ, to be more deeply one in Him. To live, through Him, With Him and In Him. As I walked from my door this morning, after experiencing such oneness with the Father, Son and Holy Spirit, and Mary, I walked into a world that is not anxious but tranquil for as I walk, He walks with me, as I breathe, He breathes with me, as I am, He is in me and I have nothing to fear for I am joined to the Almighty God. Life is not life if it is not rooted in Him. To live is to live in Him!

    I live in Jesus. He lives in me. Mary is with me. I am one in Their 2 Hearts, I live and dwell in Them. The Father, Son and Holy Spirit live in my graced baptized soul. I am saturated more and more in this life, I partake more fully in the Divine mystery of His love. I partake more fully in the Pascal Mystery of Death-Resurrection, a constant dying and rising in Him.

   

  

July 30, 1995

The Fountain of His Life

R. I wanted the love of my Father as all little children need this love of their Father.

Jesus says: I am Who Am.

R. Jesus tells us to move steadfastly ahead. In all the distractions satan is creating, we must move steadfastly ahead. Yesterday I saw, in a vision how we are all in this to spread the love of Jesus.

Life flows from the Father, in the Holy Spirit, through the pierced Heart of Jesus, through the heart of Mary, to us.

We are one body. The life flows through us. It feeds us and makes us whole.

His life flows in His Church through the Mass and the Sacraments. Oh, God, protect what your right hand has planted.

Ps. 80:14-18:

God Sabaoth, come back, we pray,
look down from heaven and see,
visit this vine;
protect what your own hand has planted.
They have thrown it on the fire like dung,
the frown of your rebuke will destroy them.
May your hand protect those at your side,
the child of Adam you have strengthened for yourself!
Never again will we turn away from you,
give us life and we will call upon your name.

Jn. 15:5-6:

I am the vine,
you are the branches.
Whoever remains in me, with me in him,
bears fruit in plenty;
for cut off from me you can do nothing.
Anyone who does not remain in me
is thrown away like a branch
-and withers;
these branches are collected
and thrown on the fire
and are burnt.

R. God is the vine, we are the branches. We need His life or we wither and die.

The people feast copiously on His divine life abundantly flowing through the hands of the holy priest in the Mass.

His life flows as a fountain on His holy people.

The priest is like the opening through which this spring pours forth.

When a priest has given his heart to Mary, this divine life flows as a shower through her Immaculate Heart, watering the earth with His glistening grace.

Oh, how abundantly doth your grace flow, Lord.

It will flow in proportion to our giving ourselves to Jesus and Mary.

At Fatima Mary told Jacinta: "Tell everybody that God gives graces through the Immaculate Heart of Mary. Tell them to ask grace from her, and that the Heart of Jesus wishes to be venerated together with the Immaculate Heart of Mary."¹