Daily Writing
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April 14, 2008
April 15th Holy Spirit Novena
Scripture selection is Day 4 Period I.The Novena Rosary Mysteries
for April 15th are Luminous.
There is a special Sidney
Healing Rosary at 6:20pm
April 15, 2008.
Please tune in!
Fr. Joe's homily on the website weekly.
This is Rita Ring's brother.
4th Sunday in Ordinary Time
February 3, 2008
Imagine a drug that causes you to live eight or nine years longer, make $15,000 more a year and be less likely to get divorced. “Happiness seems to be that drug,” according to Martin Seligman a PhD psychologist who researches and writes about happiness. If we’re miserable, can we make up our mind just to be happy as easily as if we were to take a pill? To some extent we can. Studies on twins say that about 50% of our happy or unhappy moods is genetic. About 10% depends on depressing life circumstances such as being extremely poor, gravely ill or losing a loved one. The other 40% we can control and is influenced by what we do to make ourselves happy. We just have to be careful not to pin our hopes for happiness on things like perfect health, lots of money, and good looks, which bring only a tad greater happiness than those less blessed. True happiness flows from deeper values such as engagement with family, work or a passionate pursuit, and finding meaning from some higher purpose. Does that sound like getting out of ourselves? Sitting around feeling sorry for ourselves just won’t do it.
Four ideas that I think are very helpful for increasing happiness are (1) Being active (such as exercise) or (2) putting on a happy face. I think when we smile or laugh it tricks our mind into thinking we’re happy and we feel happier. (3) I’ve always preached that gratitude is the key to happiness. Psychologists are suggesting that people keep a gratitude journal, writing down at the end of the day the things that happened that cheered them up. Experts say counting your blessings may be the single most helpful thing you can do for you happiness. (4) Doing good things for others can help too.
There are those times when a person needs professional help and/or medicine. There is that 50% that is genetic where some types of depression seems to be inherited or that 10% when a person is in a seriously difficult place in life. Self medication with alcohol or other forms of addiction only add to the problem. If you need the help, get it. There’s no shame in that. A lot of depression is due to internal chemistry or external circumstances which a person can’t handle on their own. For many of us the attitude we have toward life (seeing the glass as half full instead of half empty), the attitude of gratitude, of helping others, of getting out of ourselves, of surrounding ourselves with cheerful people or positive thoughts can help improve our own happiness quotient.
Then there’s our faith which gives us hope. Jesus gives us the beatitudes, which form the introduction to his sermon on the mount. His sermon is three chapters long, by the way, which we will totally miss. We’ll hear the very last part in June after the Lent and Easter cycle. Jesus is talking to the common people of his day, people who were living close to the edge, people under the rule of Rome, people surviving day to day. He is letting them know life’s troubles and difficulties will some day be reversed for those who open their hearts to the Kingdom he came to announce. The Greek word (and Greek is the language in which we find the original form of the gospel we have) the Greek word that begins each beatitude is “μακάριος.” The word means “happy” in an ordinary sense, but it also means one who is especially happy or favored or fortunate. That’s why it is translated “blessed.”
Reflecting on the beatitudes, it makes perfect sense to me to say that those who are poor in spirit, i.e., who are satisfied with simple things in life, those who are merciful, those who are clean of heart will be happy or blessed. It wouldn’t make much sense at all to say “happy” or “blessed” are those who mourn, those who hunger or thirst for righteousness, those who are persecuted unless somehow God would remove their sadness and let them share in his joy. In that lies our faith and hope. The thing that keeps me going is to keep believing that God can bring something good out of everything. Without the happiness and hope that thought gives me, I would have given up in despair many times. Similarly I have often heard the Archbishop say during difficult times: “God’s in this somewhere.” I don’t always see how God can make things better; I just believe he can. That’s because I believe in the resurrection. If God could turn Good Friday into Easter Sunday, he can turn our sadness, our losses, our crises, our sicknesses into a blessing for us. That is the hope God gives us.
The Holy Father just finished his second encyclical: On Christian Hope. He says: our great hope – faith in Jesus – can sustain people during the roughest of times. He goes on: we need God otherwise we remain without hope. That’s what brings us to Mass every week. We celebrate Jesus’ death and resurrection, his body given for us and to us, and his resurrection that gives us hope that even death cannot defeat us if we stay in union with him. Blessed are we who believe in him and blessed are you for being here today. Amen.
Sirach 15: 14-15
He himself made human beings in the beginning,
and then left them free to make their own decisions.
If you choose, you will keep the commandments
and so be faithful to his will.
Sirach 15: 17
A human being has life and death before him:
whichever he prefers will be given him.
Sirach 15: 18-20
For vast is the wisdom of the Lord;
he is almighty and all–seeing.
His eyes are on those who fear him,
he notes every human action.
He never commanded anyone to be godless,
he has given no one permission to sin.
Sirach 3: 28
For the disease of the proud there is no cure,
since an evil growth has taken root there.
Sirach 10: 6-7
Do not resent your neighbour's every offence,
and never act in a fit of passion.Pride is hateful to God and humanity,
and injustice is abhorrent to both.
Sirach 10: 9-11
What has dust and ashes to pride itself on?
Even in life its entrails are repellent.
A long illness makes a fool of the doctor;
a king today is a corpse tomorrow.
For in death the portion of all alike will be
insects, wild animals and worms.
These are dysfunctional problems!!
Many are terrified personalities in
dysfunctional homes that are
terrified of abandonment.
A person with pain may do
anything to slavishly
control another in a
relationship —
not to experience the pain of
abandonment —
They seek relationships that can
control with this co-dependent
behavior — that can go from worse
to worse
People in dysfunctional relationships
have a very low self-esteem,
which they can compensate
by trying to appear superior.
People in dysfunctional relationships
learn the behavior patterns
and carry them on —
they become reactors many times —
instead of actors
Many in dysfunctional relationships
become isolated — they can
compensate being high achievers —
brain surgeons, nuclear engineers etc.
They are afraid of authority figures and
many cannot be intimately involved
in a healthy normal relationship.
Many in dysfunctional relationships
become approval seekers and
have lost their own self
identity — they find another
compulsive personality or become
workaholic — to fill their
sick abandonment needs.
They become frightened of angry people and
scan the atmosphere to see if
any tension or anger exists —
many dysfunctional people cannot
stand it —
they have so much anger and tension in
them —
Angry people can shake — faces
look so mean in the eyes
while they say they aren't
angry —
Anger is a quantity —
Some are filled with such anger
they become violently abusive —
then after they release their
anger — they say it was nothing —
passive-aggressive people can
provoke and provoke like a woodpecker
working hard to work another up
so they act out their anger for
them.
Many dysfunctional people will not
tolerate personal criticism.
Many dysfunctional people want
to help victims — they attract
weaker people — so they can
control them and dominate them
Many are addicted to excitement
Many are addicted to negative thinking
Some cannot stand their angry selves
so they are always looking for
someone to blame it on
Many, many have stuffed back their
feelings from traumatic childhood
and have lost the ability to feel
or express feelings —
It hurts too much —
Many have lost all ability to laugh because
of this and act spontaneously
Many do not live in the moment
Lack of gratitude
Lack of ability to unite to others
They must control their events as
much as possible in their lives!!
Selfishness — Self-focus —
not seeing others
not seeing the big picture
To grow — to be truthful — there
must be an honest personal
inventory
Many become self-centered.
They will never admit they are wrong —
recovery demands one admits
promptly they were wrong.
Many have unpredictable behavior,
live lives of self-pity —
blaming others for the
angry, unhappy self —
inside of them —
Many live lives of resenting helping
anyone —
a normal act of love is the
giving of self —
Many dysfunctional ones —
Do favors for 1) fear of abandonment
2) to control others
3) to get affection back
4) wanting things —
they act to get what
they want out of
others back and they get
mad if they don't get
it — manipulating others
Check List
How is your temper
How is your resentment
How is your fear
How are you in blaming others
How are you in procrastinating
How are you in worry
How are you in fighting back
Wanting to fight
To win at all costs!!
Do you promptly admit you were
wrong truthfully?
Do you call people awful names?
Do you shake with anger —
teeth clenched and then say
I have no anger — provoking others?
Are you selfish?
Do you recognize your problems and
ask God for help?
From a Lenten Homily, March 24, 2000
Live in the Moment
Today’s Gospel in its story certainly points ahead to Jesus in His Passion and death. And as we read passages such as this during the Lenten season, we are reminded once again that the Church in her Liturgy of the Word gives us an opportunity to undergo a purification, an ever deepening cleansing of ourselves so that we may be a more fit instrument
for receiving the great graces which are to be given to us at the time of the Resurrection memorial on Easter. And so all in all, Lent is a time of purification to prepare us for ever-greater gifts of the Lord. It’s a time of self-discipline, a time to renew our efforts to be self-disciplined in the service of the Lord. Self-discipline is an aspect of purification. And I suggest that one of the most difficult acts of self-discipline in the spiritual journey is to concentrate on the present moment. We have a very strong tendency to disregard the importance of the present moment by focusing in a wrong way on the past or in a wrong way on the future. There are proper occasions for thinking of the past and the future. For example, we have to learn from the past and we have to prepare for the future, but our great emphasis has to be upon the present. There is a Latin axiom which says, age quod agis, age quod agis, which means: do what you are doing, concentrate on the present. And of course we are familiar with that term in the history of spirituality: the sacrament of the present moment. And so the discipline of Lent certainly encourages us to include in a deeper self-discipline a greater determination to get as much as we can out of the present moment. People with a terminal illness have an opportunity as they prepare for death for increased prayer, contrition, love of God. However, some are taken very, very quickly. But for those who have the opportunity of knowing with some certainty the time of their death, I’m sure as they look back on their lives, they are saddened by the many times they did not use time and opportunities for the service of the Lord properly, and are overjoyed at those times in which they did use the present opportunity properly. A great means we have of living in the present properly is a greater focus upon our Lord. For if I have that awareness of the fact I am united with Jesus here and now, why should I be concerned so much about the future or the past? Yes, a great help in living in the present and deriving all the good we can from it for ourselves and others is an ever greater focus upon Jesus, because the more I focus upon Jesus and the more I live with Him in the present moment, the more I am satisfied with the present moment. And so let us in our Lenten activity resolve to grow in that self-discipline - which is very difficult at times - to really live in the presence with the fullness of our being as much as is possible, with the help of God’s grace. Now is the day of salvation. Now is the day of salvation.
end of Father Carter's homily
There is an alcoholic pamphlet
called
The merry-go-round called
DENIAL
There is a book called
DON'T TALK
DON'T TRUST
DON'T FEEL
Another book is called
Addicted to Misery
What happened to the child of the
past —
Did one day — you just weren't
that person —
What about all the trauma
and wounds you had
We are dealing with the inner
child of the past every day,
every moment
W. Hugh Missildine M.D.
says in
Your Inner Child of the Past
From that book I quote
If you were not already trying to deal with your "inner child of the past," you would have no conflicts, feel no pain or distress. Some people, in fact, do just that. They let the "child of the past" take over their adult lives—inevitably bringing them into serious conflict with others and often with society. ...
The Seriousness of the Problem
Today the conflict between the "inner child of the past" and the adult of the present has caused such serious emotional distortions that nearly one in ten of us is under treatment in mental hospitals, clinics and by physicians in private practice. Much of this conflict in others is concealed in symptoms of physical illness. Approximately 30 to 50 percent of the practicing physician's time is spent on complaints that originate in emotional difficulties. Though millions of dollars are spent each year in treating such sickness, the ailments continue because their emotional character is not recognized and treated.
Years ago, the answer seemed to be that more psychiatrists and more research would someday solve the problem. But this hope has not been realized.
end excerpt
Hugh says — "feelings undesirable
and unreasonable keep recurring
throughout our adult lives"
We must get in touch with
our child of the past —
We must parent ourselves
The inner child continues with
old feelings and attitudes.
Children have parents —
Adults must parent themselves
You have become your own
parent — the
parent of the inner child
One can see life from the attitudes
of the past family and
the adult — that are
quite different
"Why do I act this way
when I didn't mean
to"
The child of the past is constantly
trying to get us to live as
we lived at home —
So we can keep trying to put
people in our present
life into roles of people
in our past life —
acting out our past life.
We can see things in terms of
the early family.
Our parents and their attitudes are
always a part of us — we
know them well.
We cannot hide feelings of
disrespect we got from parents
It creates conflict —
old memories —
acting out on others — unless
we deal with it
If your child of the past is
given free expression —
they may really interfere
with your life now and
rights of others
Hugh says:
Marriages involves 4 persons.
2 adults from present
2 children from their family
backgrounds
The child of the past can try to
control the adult life.
Situations that involve
home, family life —
A man can be one way at work
and at home fighting like
in an army tank —
Hugh says —
His wife says
"I can't get through
his shell. He won't listen, and
he says such cruel, ugly thing!!"
Hugh says:
"These men had to build protective,
combative armor in childhood
to cope with a sharp-tongued,
battlefield home atmosphere.
They still feel too vulnerable
to step out of their protective
shells in the present even
though the battlefields of childhood
have long since disappeared.
Often their wives, out of loneliness
and in a frantic attempt to
"reach" these husbands quarrel
with them. This recreates the
battlefield atmosphere of their
past home life — and more
family entrenches these men
in their armored tanks"
quotes Hugh
ENTHUSIASM
about today — tomorrow
HEALTHY SELF-ESTEEM
created in the image and likeness
of Jesus
I am God's child
The Almighty God created me
in His image and likeness
God is love
People can see themselves
as inferior and
then act superior to others —
the problem is in them
People who lived being run
down, having stuffed
resentment, fear,
low self-esteem
I AM SOMEBODY
I AM GOD'S CREATION
Lots of low self-esteem people
aren't going anywhere even
if they are very educated
and talented because how
they think of themselves -
Others are not to give us
SELF-ESTEEM
We do it ourselves
Healing ourselves or parents who criticized
our self-esteem and
did it continually because
of their low self-esteem
"picking on children"
"projecting"
hurting children — rejecting them
when they needed encouragement
and love
The Father's Plan was
we recognize
God created us in His
image and likeness
Our Father can heal the
imperfections of the
imperfect mom and dad who
may have loved us —
they were imperfect, though
Our Father
Our Father, Who art in heaven, hallowed be Thy name. Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. * Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil. Amen.
The Father's prayer can help
us heal.
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