What am I looking for — I have seen people
                angry in a car because they couldn't move
                fast enough —

                    What happens when you are that angry inside — you
                can cause a wreck and a child can get killed because
                you are just angry inside — not really worried about
                the minute that was wasted. A person pushing
                ahead in a car angry because they had to wait
                a minute is acting out anger — deep seated anger
                in them. Others may act out anger because some button
                over an innocent remark was pushed in them from
                the past and they start acting out deep seated anger they
                have on another because they project their own anger on
                others — They live with impure vision and lots of baggage —

                    People usually aren't even thinking what we think
                they are thinking many times — we operate on the impure visions
                we house within us — we can make ourselves victims of
                rejection — others victimizers of us and act out
                hatred from the past.

                    We are called to be pure — like Jesus, thinking
                of others — living our vocations in love — building the
                Kingdom of God — It is a choice to give into temptations
                from satan to act out of our wounded human nature —
                make ourselves victims, punish people — acting out hatred,
                anger, habitual patterned behavior to get control —

                    God is love — We live our lives to give love to
                the world — to be another Christ — Adam and Eve wanted to
                be equal to God —
                Why haven't we learned this lesson
                And the punishment it brought for all of us

                We are to live to be like Jesus
                He gives us His Body and Blood
                He gives us His Word

                Not obeying authority is wrong
                God gives us the commandments to learn to obey
                We must obey the Father's will

                    We do not live in a vacuum. Our lives lived
                and the way we taught others to live reach out
                in the lives of those who came after us — the
                writings I wrote, the things we began — the way
                we built things or changed things to make the world
                better or worse.

                    The way we loved — the Christmas, birthday
                celebrations we had with others to build families
                of love — in communities as well as in families,
                churches, religious orders, schools —

                    Men for others

                    Did not Christ show us — He came so all men
                could be saved.

                    Reality is truth — a man must know himself —
                A person who marries soon learns in dealing with
                another they must learn to love — die to imperfections
                past down — bad habits — taught about living from
                parents, schools, relatives, relationships. A person
                marrying can be so strong willed they refuse to change
                forcing their ways on others, by abuse, control etc. —
                Or a couple marrying can use the golden opportunity
                to work in love with each other to grow deeply
                in getting rid of imperfections.

                    A person is like a hidden treasure or can be
                a hidden bomb of darkness or combination of light
                and dark.

                    A person can be a brain surgeon and soon
                learn these skills can come from a person
                unable to relate on a personal level of loving
                others.

                    We go to school to be a brain surgeon — the school
                of love is found in God the source of love — from
                loving relationships taught by others in which we
                engaged — moms and dads that taught us about obedience,
                love, sacrifice, justice.

                    Having a big degree in nuclear engineering can mean
                little to life if we fail to love — if we want an
                isolated life where we say — I'll see everything my
                way and make others do what I want or live alone —

                    My band is me and it is a one man band — me —
                I will fight to prove 'I'm right', but a person like this
                may have never worked on looking into their past —
                and old wounds and bad habits they have —

                    The person able to relate with others has emptied
                the bags of old garbage and comes empty ready to love
                and be loved — they aren't acting from old wounds
                past down from generations past — fighting with others
                if they do interact saying "my way or the highway"

                    A person is like an open door — if their house is
                full of clutter, old wounds, bitterness, anger —
                they have trouble finding a loving heart in there —
                too much clutter — bumping into old furniture stuffed in
                the rooms, the hallways — everywhere an old rug
                to trip you up.

                    A person whether at church or in community can
                come and say — "clean slate for me" —

                "I have not gotten along other places" —

                But I come — "I'm right and I will run things my way —
                    I will bring my dysfunction and if there is a problem
                    with me - I will project on you, blame you,
                    but I am perfect — I will remain the same dysfunctional
                    way and blame you"

                I say "look at your past books"

                    How was mom and dad?
                    Did they teach you in love — selflessly helping you —
                    Were they selfish, argumentative, wanting things for themselves —
                    rejecting you — teaching you - you weren't important —
                    life is tense — life is a fight always — always tension —
                    not working together in love — solving problems in love
                    so you won —

                In some dysfunctional homes — no problems were addressed
                    in peace and love, so therefore skills of settling conflicts
                    to live and still be just and love - were not taught —
                    many homes handled problems like bombs —
                        It went off and nobody had an opinion —
                        The problems put off — ignored until the
                            little problem became horrendous for
                            lack of handling it when it should have
                            been handled —

                    We effect the lives of others — When a person enters
                a community, a church, a school with an attitude
                they ignore authority and "act-out" their old dysfunctional
                habits — blaming others when there is a problem
                (their problem and how they act) and they refuse to
                live in reality and truth — lying about what they
                do or how they act — there are big problems for
                everybody —

                    A bride and groom must either work together in love
                or have a marriage where there is constant fighting or
                one through force — forces their dysfunction on another
                and they accept it and try to live with it as best they
                can because they cannot change them — the person may
                refuse to change —

                    We are all imperfect — always working in relationships
                to sort out the past in our lives to grow more
                loving —

                    A person who grew up in a dysfunctional home,
                taught dysfunctional ways, learned to act this way —
                CANNOT come in and say "clean slate for me —
                when my problems surface in community, school,
                church — I say — 'your fault' 'I am right' " —

                    We all have past books to work through; houses
                full of debris — we need to not carry these bags of the
                past and act out of them and then put them on
                other's shoulders. This is not living in the truth, not living
                in reality — when we see ourselves as perfect and blame
                others for our dysfunctional, unloving, uncooperative
                ways.

                    We all have a lot of work to do — we cannot
                give into the concupiscence of the flesh — like the
                message 9-3-2008 — jealous eyes, possessiveness, anger —
                we must act for God's will not out of our wounded human
                nature, the message 9-6-2008 we must see through
                eyes more and more like the Father's vision — not look
                through inordinate attachments of wanting control,
                isolation, possessiveness — even when other are not
                nice — we don't allow that to block God's will for
                us —

                    We are called to act in love — so people can see
                Christ in us — so we are growing more and more in
                the image and likeness of God — in ways of purity —

                    But you say — I want it my way and it is
                selfish, possessive, envious, jealous — we
                can be acting like two children pulling hair —
                fighting to seek dominance for dominance sake —
                then complaining that someone who is over us
                gets in our way —

                    We are here to be holy and do it God's way — not our
                way — most of the time when we give into the
                jealous eyes — we suffer more than anyone else —
                If God called us to have a certain vocation
                then we please Him by doing His will because God has a plan —
                God calls us in our vocation to be faithful to Him —
                He created us — We bear the handprint of God — We must
                let God run the show —

                    Jealousy never gets anybody anywhere — a person
                who gives into the devil by giving into an imperfection
                is blocking God's work, when they begin acting a
                certain way, punishing, jealous, angry.

                    God wrote the rules and the more we live our
                vocation in purity the more we will have peace
                in our lives — We must act according to God's will —

                    We cannot get angry when we expect something we
                decided in our head and the other person never even
                knew it — That is living in a unreal world —

                    Communication is necessary —
                    Working out problems — which are part of life

                A person from a dysfunctional home lived in a
                    'survival mode' of unpredictable people acting
                    out — stuff that never should have happened —
                    children had bundles of unmet needs
                    children were treated, many times, as unimportant, in
                        the way and scapegoated

                So a person who lived a life of unmet needs — unmet
                    expectations has a history of emotions they can be
                    acting on —

                    A person can be so angry when another doesn't do
                something, which wasn't even discussed, that they
                have cut them off —

                    When the other comes to do God's will — the first guy
                is now unavailable, mad, unable to reach because
                he wanted something and never got it — the whole game —
                the expectation — the disappointment — NEVER left
                his head and he is Now punishing someone, the family,
                the business, the Church because of what only
                existed in his mind.

                    People cannot work with people who act on FAKE realities
                that only exist in their head — It is not reality — it
                is coming from past needs — lack of communication, anger and
                lastly punishment for what was in their head and others
                didn't even know it.

                Communication is expected by God —

                When you make up scenarios on innocent others how
                    you didn't get your expectations and start to
                    punish them —
                    How should God punish sin?

                We are to punish children who disobey.

                Adults aren't to punish other adults to control
                    those over them — God wants love
                                            God is love
                                            God asks for our actions given in love
                                            God created us to be in His image
                                                and likeness

                To those who love and serve the Lord they will be rewarded
                    in heaven.

                To those who judge, punish, act selfishly — God will deal
                    with men according to their ways.