Shepherds of Christ  
       Daily Writing        


November 26, 2006

November 27th Holy Spirit Novena
Scripture selection is Day 7 Period  I.

The Novena Rosary Mysteries  
for November 27th are Joyful.


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Messenger:           Christ is the King.

                            This means we do not live in a

                            In the Shepherds of Christ our mission is to help
                                to bring to completion Mary's mission begun at Fatima when
                                the Sacred Heart of Jesus
                                will reign and the
                                Immaculate Heart of
                                Mary will triumph.

                            Mary's message - Fatima

"But in the end, my Immaculate Heart will triumph, the Holy Father will consecrate Russia to me, Russia will be converted, and a certain period of peace will be granted to the world."       

        God has given  to us tremendous
    talents to do this work — to help
    promote His Kingdom.

        Many in this world are focused
    on doing things for their own honor
    and glory and not for God's honor and glory.

        Think of how the world would
    be if all were trying to do God's
    will for the honor and glory of God
    loving God and loving one another.


Genesis 3: 1-24

The Fall

   Now, the snake was the most subtle of all the wild animals that Yahweh God had made. It asked the woman, ‘Did God really say you were not to eat from any of the trees in the garden?’ The woman answered the snake, ‘We may eat the fruit of the trees in the garden. But of the fruit of the tree in the middle of the garden God said, "You must not eat it, nor touch it, under pain of death." ’ Then the snake said to the woman, ‘No! You will not die! God knows in fact that the day you eat it your eyes will be opened and you will be like gods, knowing good from evil.’ The woman saw that the tree was good to eat and pleasing to the eye, and that it was enticing for the wisdom that it could give. So she took some of its fruit and ate it. She also gave some to her husband who was with her, and he ate it. Then the eyes of both of them were opened and they realised that they were naked. So they sewed fig–leaves together to make themselves loin–cloths.

   The man and his wife heard the sound of Yahweh God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from Yahweh God among the trees of the garden. But Yahweh God called to the man. ‘Where are you?’ he asked. ‘I heard the sound of you in the garden,’ he replied. ‘I was afraid because I was naked, so I hid.’ ‘Who told you that you were naked?’ he asked. ‘Have you been eating from the tree I forbade you to eat?’ The man replied, ‘It was the woman you put with me; she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it.’ Then Yahweh God said to the woman, ‘Why did you do that?’ The woman replied, ‘The snake tempted me and I ate.’

   Then Yahweh God said to the snake, ‘Because you have done this,

   Accursed be you of
   all animals wild and tame!
   On your belly you will go
   and on dust you will feed
   as long as you live.
    I shall put enmity
    between you and the woman,
    and between your offspring and hers;
    it will bruise your head
    and you will strike its heel.’

     To the woman he said:

     I shall give you intense pain
        in childbearing,
     you will give birth to your children
        in pain.
     Your yearning will be for your husband,
      and he will dominate you.

   To the man he said, ‘Because you listened to the voice of your wife and ate from the tree of which I had forbidden you to eat,

     Accursed be the soil because of you!
     Painfully will you get your food from it
     as long as you live.
   It will yield you brambles and thistles,
     as you eat the produce of the land.
   By the sweat of your face
     will you earn your food,
     until you return to the ground,
     as you were taken from it.
     For dust you are
     and to dust you shall return.’

   The man named his wife ‘Eve’ because she was the mother of all those who live. Yahweh God made tunics of skins for the man and his wife and clothed them. Then Yahweh God said, ‘Now that the man has become like one of us in knowing good from evil, he must not be allowed to reach out his hand and pick from the tree of life too, and eat and live for ever!’ So Yahweh God expelled him from the garden of Eden, to till the soil from which he had been taken. He banished the man, and in front of the garden of Eden he posted the great winged creatures and the fiery flashing sword, to guard the way to the tree of life


November 26, 2006 message continues

Messenger:               We are imperfect — we have the effects
                            of original sin, generations of generations
                            of ways we have loved and been unloving
                            of all these imperfect human persons —
                            all of us teaching more loving and unloving
                            ways to each other.

                                Some of the effects of the garden is
                            we may want to blame each other for
                            our own faults. There can be constant
                            tension because of an individual's lack
                            of peace.

                                Jealousy can be a big problem.
                            We have to be focused on trying to
                            be one using our talents as God wants
                            us to and not being slavishly dependent
                            no envy — trying to stop someone from
                            doing God's will because we want to
                            possess them for our own selfish

                                There is a decision to be made. Many
                            times through temptation from satan
                            our heart can feel as if it is torn in
                            half — One day is an important day and
                            God wants us to do something — and at the
                            same time there is a business meeting
                            with the boss as our daughter's Christmas
                            play at school. And guess what — our
                            heart is torn in half and we have to
                            make a decision. One thing is for
                            sure we cannot be in two places at the
                            same time — so we pray to do God's will
                            and then the decision must be made —
                            but we must pray for this.

                                We may automatically be doing some
                            bad patterns that defeat the purpose
                            of unity because of cultural trends,
                            patterns learned at home.

                                A woman or man married and with
                            lots of children have had lots of chance
                            to grow in selflessness or they may remain
                            the same and be a selfish person that they
                            have passed down some selfish traits.

                                Some men may have learned to
                            not listen to women — others taught
                            great respect for women. If mom was
                            domineering — abusive — some children —
                            now adults may try to act out unfinished
                            business with women in authority over

                                If dad was always angry and mom did
                            whatever he wanted and tip-toed around
                            because he could explode — one may learn
                            to scan others behaviors and when they
                            see a quiet - stern face they may prepare
                            themselves for the anger and wrath of
                            dad and the person isn't even thinking
                            anything like the "dad" did, but because
                            the scared child inside of someone
                            may cause their own problems, assuming
                            innocent others are ready to explode
                            like their dad because their facial
                            features look quiet and stern and
                            they may associate that with that dad
                            exploded afterward.

                                When walking down a park path
                            one may tense-up at the site of a man
                            or woman depending how they have
                            preconceived ideas from childhood or
                            other parts of their lives about men
                            and women.

                                A woman may not be afraid
                            around other women, but tense-up
                            around all men because
                            of an angry dad or angry spouse.

                                A man may have problems with
                            men because of how his dad treated
                            him if it lacked respect and acceptance.

                                We are all wounded and some of us
                            came from more loving homes than others,
                            but whatever the past — God gives us a
                            lifetime to grow and be more like Jesus.


Genesis 1: 27 - 28

God created man in the image of himself,
in the image of God he created him,
male and female he created them.

God blessed them, saying to them, ‘Be fruitful, multiply, fill the earth and subdue it. Be masters of the fish of the sea, the birds of heaven and all the living creatures that move on earth.’


November 26, 2006 message continues

Messenger:               The place to be is that we recognize
                            we are the poor banished children of
                            Adam and Eve and we need to grow to
                            be more perfected as Our Heavenly Father
                            is perfect.

                                God intends us to walk hand-in-hand.
                            God intends us to operate as one in love.
                            God intends us to recognize we are under Him.


1 Corinthians 15: 20-28

    In fact, however, Christ has been raised from the dead, as the first–fruits of all who have fallen asleep. As it was by one man that death came, so through one man has come the resurrection of the dead. Just as all die in Adam, so in Christ all will be brought to life; but all of them in their proper order: Christ the first–fruits, and next, at his coming, those who belong to him. After that will come the end, when he will hand over the kingdom to God the Father, having abolished every principality, every ruling force and power. For he is to be king until he has made his enemies his footstool, and the last of the enemies to be done away with is death, for he has put all things under his feet. But when it is said everything is subjected, this obviously cannot include the One who subjected everything to him. When everything has been subjected to him, then the Son himself will be subjected to the One who has subjected everything to him, so that God may be all in all.


November 26, 2006 message continues

Messenger:               We may be so set in our ways we spend
                            our lives trying to establish our dysfunctional
                            dance because it is familiar, and yet our
                            dysfunctional dance is causing us so much
                            pain. Some people who want control may
                            lose job after job for not obeying
                            authority and they may be too fixed on
                            themselves being right — making themselves
                            a victim over and over again and they have
                            the problem — not the five bosses over
                            them that let them go.

                                A woman had five husbands — she said
                            every one did just like the other and she
                            had five divorces — she did not see her
                            actions were the problem and she assumed
                            they were not acting right —

                                When we have the same relationship with
                            others and it grows "sour" the same way
                            over and over again — we may be dancing
                            the dance that leads others to finally
                            leave us on the dance floor because we
                            keep doing the same dysfunctional ways
                            that are selfish and hurt others.

                                If a person has the idea from dad, him
                            from his dad, women cannot be in charge
                            then they may have problems with a woman
                            boss, a girlfriend, a wife because they
                            are acting out of dysfunctional patterns
                            automatically — that may cause others to run
                            far away.

                                A man may have the attitude — "I will
                            never let a woman over me" and if she
                            shows any strength he is pushing her down
                            emotionally maneuvering things to make
                            her lose control — when she cries — he
                            has conquered — But has he really when
                            she is his wife, his boss, even the
                            Virgin Mary may not be respected because
                            of some of those past patterns.

                                I watched a vision I had. A man was
                            taming a lion. He was on a stand and
                            the lion, must learn who was in

                                Because of past preconceived ideas
                            about women being under — one can be
                            closing a door of realizing how important
                            it is to Jesus we respect Mary, Mother
                            of God, Mother of the Church as our
                            spiritual Mother.

                                Mary is the only sinless human person.
                            Jesus is a Divine Person with two natures
                            a Divine nature and a human nature.

                                This is an important function of
                            the Newsletter to lead the priests into
                            deeper union with Mary through Consecration
                            to her Heart.

                                Jacinta was told by Mary before her
                            death that Jesus wants His Heart venerated
                            next to His Mother.

'Tell everybody that God gives graces through the Immaculate Heart of Mary. Tell them to ask grace from her, and that the Heart of Jesus wishes to be venerated together with the Immaculate Heart of Mary. Ask them to plead for peace from the Immaculate Heart of Mary, for the Lord has confided the peace of the world to her.'27

November 26, 2006 message continues

Messenger:               God the Father sent Mary as a messenger
                            at Fatima.

                                God the Father sent Mary as a messenger
                            at Clearwater.

                                Many people can act out patterns
                            from childhood
Slavishly dependent
                            relationships keeps us from being free
                            of inordinate attachments.

                                Notice how God gives us opportunities
                            to be more as we should be — we must love —
                            but not inappropriately.

                            We can eat — but not stuff ourselves.

                            We must assert ourselves for the truth, but not
                                be mean, hateful and full of anger.

                            Our motives must be pure.

                            Our lives lived to be greater and more perfect
                                  like Jesus.

                            A married person is not to have relationships
                                  outside of marriage.

                            A person may drink wine, but not
                                  abuse alcohol.

                            God did not make it one way or the other
                                  we must be prudent in our uses
                                  of things — in relationships —
                                  always following the commandments —

                                  Living by the Word of God

                                  People who use passive-aggressive
                            measures to get control — softly provoking
                            others to get them to act out their
                            pain and anger, must recognize how
                            they may secretly do things to manipulate
                            events and provoke another who
                            is over and deserves the information.

                                  Some may habitually act out passive-
                            aggressive measures because they are
                            really an angry person inside or
                            addicted to excitement, bad moods,
                            these bad habits hurt others, but keep
                            the persons with monkeys on their back
                            jumping from tree to tree.

                                Jesus is the way, the truth and
                            the life.

                                A person who never looks at their
                            past and is angry when someone doesn't
                            pass the salt or they think looks stern
                            or angry — so they explode has layers of
                            things to deal with in their past.

                                A person can say "I feel crazy" and
                            then not do what they are supposed to.
                            They probably have hidden things that
                            would cause them to say this and then
                            they give themselves the right to not deal
                            with the fact they were irresponsible to
                            something important.

                                Some may use passive-aggressive
                            behaviors to emotionally control others
                            and then after they provoke another
                            to explode — until they finally lose
                            control — they (the person using passive-
                            aggressive measures) walks away feeling
                            relief and they never lost control — and
                            caused the other to look discredited.

                                When we try to provoke another to
                            lose control or to emotionally control
                            them it can be a means of getting
                            control over authority — teenagers,
                            children can do this to try to control
                            their parents, but lots of adults do
                            this and are angry inside themselves —
                            trying to discredit authority. They
                            can be mean and punishing in this
                            manipulation of events.

                                One can be gripped so hard by
                            an attack from satan that they do
                            not even recognize how unrational
                            their actions are

                                Wanting control, because of how
                            they feel desiring dominance they may
                            automatically begin to be evasive
                            carrying ordinary conversation to great
                            lengths — just to provoke and be in
                            control. They can become secretive where
                            this hurts business and others and they
                            do destructive work — where harmony and
                            fruitfulness could triumph had they
                            not given into pride to keep themselves

                                Living in community can help — if it
                            is guided to be likened more and more in
                            love, forgiveness and a dominant person
                            is not able to try to put in place a
                            dysfunctional dance, by anger or
                            manipulation or passive-aggressive
                            measures for control.

                                Every Church, community and
                            school has major problems when the
                            leader is strong-willed and disconnected
                            from those outside the institution and
                            over them. Ultimately all things are done
                            to build the Kingdom of God see 1 Corinthians 15

                                Some have learned addictions to
                            survival from dysfunctional homes
                            because they lived in a little war-zone
                            with one who controlled not for the
                            honor and glory of God or was majorly

                                We can be effected by past shame
                            parents, bosses, spouses who shamed
                            us, ridiculed us.

                                Anger can be past down from generation
                            to generation.

                                Fear can be almost crippling
                            coupled with detailed thinking that is
                            worrying about things that have not happened
                            and probably will never happen.

                                We can make our own "hell" by the
                            records we play in our minds.

                                Some people can become so caught
                            up with a play in their mind no matter
                            where they go — they plug in innocent
                            players and they can play a victim
                            role while others persecute them they think—
                            when really nobody is even doing
                            anything to them.

                                Who is in control of my thoughts?

                                I am, but I depend on the Holy
                            Spirit to fill me with Light and
                            Strength to turn to be healed
                            of the many dysfunctional ways
                            I can give into —
                            or I may blindly have as habits.

                            Triggers for little things that cause
                                great, angry emotion in some
                                must be looked at.

                            The New Adam had burial cloths
                                See Him dropping these cloths
                                    in the tomb before the

                            Pride keeps us stuck — if we think
                                we are right when many people
                                have showed us our ways are
                                injuring others and we don't
                                want to change —


                            If we want to change
                                how we feel —
(if we are miserable and hurting others)

                            We have to change what
                                we tell ourselves.


                            We must live in the Moment.

                            We can never bring back the moments
                                of this day again when we go to
                                bed —

                            God wants us to love Him.
                            God wants us to love each other.

                            Satan's grip can be paralyzing and

                            He tempts us with lies.

                            When we can be in that part of
                                our brain where we are
                                connected to our heart and
                                loving deeply — seeing with

                            Satan gets us focused on details, many times — to tempt
                                us to think some
                                things that aren't true or
                                are not even going to happen —

                            "What if ...

                            "What if ...

                            Worry — Action — get out of it.


                            St. Ignatius says

                                We should never make decisions
                                    in desolation!!


                            Where are our thoughts coming from

                                1) The Holy Spirit

                                2) The evil spirit

                                3)  our own thoughts
                                        ambitions etc.
                                        could be good or not God's will.


                            Do we have Low Self Esteem?

                            Being filled with God's grace.

                            Going to the tabernacle

                            Fills us with LIGHT

                            Going to Mass.


                            God says            

                            Let your "yes" say "yes"

                            Let your "no" say "no".


                            Some men may think
                                if a woman gets stronger
                                push her down
                                they don't want any woman
                                    "kicking them around."

                            There is the struggle for dominance
                                from the garden


                                men over women
                                women over women

                            A person may try to force another
                                to be dependent on them because
                                of their own low self-esteem.

                            Because someone may feel disempowered
                                because of low-self-esteem
                                they find a person they think has
                                a problem and
                                then they are superior by advise
                                    over them.


                            The problem is — is — the person must
                                be emotionally under them (they think) and
                                have a problem so they can get
                                their low-self-esteem raised to
                                being empowered —

                            They will feel better if they can
                                emotionally control another

                            They themselves may have low-self-esteem
                            They themselves may be insecure.

                            WHAT KEEPS US STUCK

                            FROM BEING EMPOWERED

                            TO BUILD God's Kingdom.

                            1) shame
                            2) being right (when we are wrong because of pride)
                            3) anger
                            4) fear
                            5) resentment
                            6) rage


                            Jesus gave me a vision

                            A Big room was empty except for a large
                                juke box and a lot of people went in.

                            The record playing was the Will of God.

                            people hurried in to bump it off and
                                put on their own controlling

                            A person — from an angry house may
                                want all to dance to his tune
                                where He is the Boss —
                                        Nobody outside the place is over him
                                        and Everybody better brutely do the dance.

                                There is no love involved.

                            Jesus shows us about how to be


                            He loved those under Him so much
                                He died for them.

                            He obeyed His Father's will

                                   Parents show us how to relate.

                                   People in alcoholic homes had a cycle
                                they were either, drinking, thinking about
                                drinking, or having a hangover —

                            Alcohol is used to numb pain

                            A person can be addicted to lots of
                                things without alcohol

                            Some parents who were addicted to
                                other things were just not
                                available for children's needs

                                The children may have felt —
                                they were unloved and thus
                                got low-self-esteem —
                                and are always trying to
                                get other adults today
                                to affirm them —

                            Or they may NEVER want to
                                lose control because they won't
                                really TRUST anybody.

                                   Some people can have "brown-outs"
                                where they are just not available
                                for a while —

                            If we have responsibilities and are
                                supposed to be doing something
                                this won't work
                                Nobody would keep a person like
                                    this, even, at a Fast Food Restaurant.

                            Keeping Secrets from those over
                                us about what we are
                                supposed to be helping with
                                is to get power for power sake —

                            It is a manipulation tactic
                                maybe a habit —
                                a game —


                            Even a person praying in the light
                                is externally focused for their
                                vision is the vision of God

                            Many are in denial.

                                won't take responsibility for their actions

                                won't take responsibility for what happened

                                                                    when it was their fault.

                            Some people get mad to get adrenaline
                                pumping — feeling tired —
                                start trouble.

                            There are self-destructive cycles

                            We could have been taught to run
                                negative thoughts in our head
                                at four.

                            Layers and

                                Layers of

                                Negative thinking.


                           All the devil has to do is tempt us with
                                somebody pressing our button.

                                LOVE  <————————————>  TRUTH

                            SHINE A LIGHT ON THE PAST

                                LOOK AT THE PAST

                            We can't keep acting stuff out
                                and then become aware it
                                isn't right, but
                                we just let it "float".

                            When we are responsible and we know
                                it we should admit it and
                                tell the person we hurt we are
                                sorry and try to change.

                            We can't live in LIES
                                because of pride.

                            We always want to do God's will
                                Don't act in desolation — when the
                                devil is pressing on us.

                            We can't be locked in seeking approval
                                rather than doing God's will.

                                   We can't want immediate gratification
                                or get mad.

                            LIVE FOR THE NOW

                            Give praise and honor to God.

            In childhood we may have had fear
                                of abandonment —

                                parents were not emotionally
                                there for our needs

                            We need to learn to

                                     TRUST GOD

                                     TRUST (trustworthy others
                                                       God has in our lives)





                            ABILITY  to grow in our vocation
                                                Let past behind (but don't act
                                                                         in bad habits because
                                                                         of past hurts)


                                    no codependence




                            Childhood can be playground or prison

                            We learn to relate

                            We play on the surface of the earth

                            Some of us learned survival tactics
                                            bad habits of responding
                                            WE MUST let go of

                            We must recover from these bad
                                survival tactics
                                and not try to make our bad
                                    behavior "float".

                            It may have not been our parents fault
                                they were damaged as children
Exodus 34: 6-7

Then Yahweh passed before him and called out, ‘Yahweh, Yahweh, God of tenderness and compassion, slow to anger, rich in faithful love and constancy, maintaining his faithful love to thousands, forgiving fault, crime and sin, yet letting nothing go unchecked, and punishing the parent’s fault in the children and in the grandchildren to the third and fourth generation!’


                            An alcoholic won't stop drinking
                                until it is real to him he is
                                an alcoholic

                            Our bad habits won't stop until we
                                unveil them and they are real
                                to us and we do things different
                                IN HARMONY <> NOT DISCORD

                            We can idealize parents and
                                can be acting out hurtful patterns
                                learned from the past when dealing with others

                            We can still love our parents and
                                all they did for us, but
                                with grace and God's light
                                correct our bad habits
                                learned in childhood or
                                past relationships

                            We CAN'T HEAL until we
                                quit lying about destructive
                                patterns that hurt ourselves and others

                            God wants us to be empowered

                            We must unwrap the layers of the
                                onion —

                                TRUST GOD

                           TRUST trustworthy others
                                                God has sent us

                            We have to realize to recognize
                                  bad habits we learned from
                                  parents and past relationships is the only way to
                             Parents  may have tried to do it

                            They must be loved
                                       recognized and thanked
                                       but not idealized
                                       forgive their faults
                                       Don't idealize them and

                                Love them

                                but get rid of our own bad
                                    habits wherever we got
                                    them — that hurt our
                                    relationship with God and
                                    with others

                            Do what is healthy

                            Healthy Relationships NOW



                            Don't Act out things like
                                     little children wounded
                                     in the past

                            Don't play negative tapes in
                                     our heads —

                       Love don't be addicted to negative

                            Don't store your pain and shame in your body

                            Don't hurt our hearts with hatred and anger
                                may be worse than some foods!!

                            If our emotions are more than is necessary
                                we are triggered!

                            Some people have lots of problems
                                from the past
                                want somebody else to normalize
                                when the problem is in them
                                they must get out of denial
                                unveil the pain

                            Some people are always at war and
                                The Sacred Heart brings peace in
                                    our lives

                                ADDICTIONS ARE SURVIVAL SKILLS


                            Somebody can be re-stimulated by something
                                                        stuffed anger
                                                        repressed memory

                            TRIGGERS  means "stuffed things"

                                                when emotions do not match problem

                            We need some recovery on ourselves

                                    ADMIT the truth about how we act
                                                pray for wisdom
                                                pray for healing
                                                pray for light

                            Some people have lots of problems
                                they project on others

                            If someone had an authority that was
                                not like God wants - they may
                                "I will never be under anybody again"

                                Always fighting for dominance
                                Always fighting to be in control
                                Always fighting to be on top

                            God is authority
                            God operates in order
                                    We can't keep fighting dominant
                                        controlling dad or mom with
                                        every authority figure over us

                            A person can have a problem with a
                                parent and then project it on
                                the authority over them.

                            A person may try when disempowered
                                to get power back with an innocent

                            A man at work had a problem with the
                                boss — he went home took it out
                                on his wife — she took it out on
                                the children — the children took
                                it out on the dog —

                            So much goes on on holidays
                                we don't even know how some
                                in the family don't want anybody
                                getting out of the dance

                            We are to be empowered by being
                                the Spouse of Jesus

                            We dance to the song

                            In a family
In an institution

                            Problems should be worked out
                                    in love
                                    Not discredit our family
                                    Not discredit the institution

                            God puts us with others in our lives
                                to work things out
                                grow in greater life loving
                                    and growing

                            Religious take a vow of

                                (1) obedience
                                (2) celibacy

                            The devil works through selfishness
                                in one person many times
                                to try to stop the Spirit from moving.

                            The saints obeyed their superiors.

                            Old rules may apply because
                                of culture people's ways —

                            In an alcoholic home the
                                "scapegoat" doesn't want to
                                go home they put him
                                in the "under-dog" role
                                unless they have recovered

                            The "hero" wants everyone doing the
                                dance the way he sees it
                                unless recovery has taken place

                            When we give ourselves to God
                                we want to do God's will

                            Consecration to the
                                New Adam and New Eve
                                help us live out our
                                baptismal promise.

                            Doing God's will can help to
                                bring down great grace

                            Hosea 6: 6

for faithful love is what pleases me,
    not sacrifice;
knowledge of God, not burnt offerings.


                            Christ did His Father's will to His
                                death on the cross.

                            Look at a building with smoke-stacks
                                and dark smoke pouring out
                                A bird flew through - wings outstretched
                                next he was flying upside down

                            What comes out of our smoke stacks
                                when people cross our path
                                do they get hit by our fight
                                inside of us for 30, 40, 50
                                always arguing
                                always fighting
                                always tension

                            OUR WAY  or the  HIGHWAY

                            And all the birds around us are flying

                            Are we like Jesus?

                                People can really stay stuck
                            after they are adults like adult-children
                            of alcoholics but it can be any dysfunction

                                People all entered carrying
                            a single record —

                                A fight began to play the juke box
                            each one wanted to play the record
                            familiar to them — the story of their lives —
                            survival, for some, from dysfunctional
                            homes in childhood.

                                One man had a very dominating dad
                            who was abusive in talk, demeaning and
                            controlling — he had little respect for
                            women and wanted to run the place like
                            this. As long as he denied his own
                            problem with authority — making all
                            authority like his dad — he would never
                            really allow any authority over him.
                            He was like a monkey on the tree limbs —
                            if he obeyed a short time — he soon
                            jumped to another tree limb hanging
                            gaily upside down and having a time
                            of willful assertion — arm-wrestling
                            with authority — it became his past
                            time. He really hurt himself and everybody
                            else when he did this, but he did it

                                He had a female boss — so he would
                            strike at the first sign of her asserting
                            authority because of a pledge he lived
                            by to never let anyone in control
                            over him, they may kick his pants —
                            So he never really surrendered.

                                A guy seeking to be a priest never
                            answered that vocation because he would
                            not allow himself to be under a bishop.

                                Until shame and denial is put aside
                            the person will never heal — for an
                            alcoholic cannot get healed without
                            admitting his alcoholic problem.

                                Likewise a person with a problem
                            that never takes responsibility for
                            his problem will never stop it —

                                He is in denial — like the

                                A woman going home talking
                            to her family, abusive mother will
                            constantly throw herself into a
                            dither of being like the monkey —
                            the mother can act like a trigger
                            to dis-empower —

                                She will turn inward controlling,
                            disobedient to deal with this

                                Once a person is abused by
                            another — the abuser only need to
                            raise their voice and it triggers
                            responses from the abuse.

                                Doing God's will is not putting
                            oneself in a situation to be as one
                            was —

                                damaged goods —

                                People who had to live in a survival

                                mode as children have layers and

                            layers of     pain
                                             low self esteem

                                They try to seek control so they
                                        will never be under anyone

                                In a room it is a battle for the
                                    juke box to play their familiar
                                    dance — even though it
                                    hurts them and others because
                                    they  don't want to change from
                                    the familiar —
                                    old tapes —
                                    red buttons
                                    family contacts —
                                    make them reactors
                                    instead of actors —
                                    doing God's will —

                            The devil only need to provide any
                                   stimulus and they are off going
                                   down the wrong road at
                                   record speed.

                                  The next is the passive-aggressive —
                            that seek control by provoking
                            situations — punishing the other —
                            Calling them things to emotionally
                            control them —

                                They too have a major problem
                            with authority — they want to
                            remain in control, clean and white —
                            so they underhandedly and premeditatedly
                            seek to get control —

                                They have had bad experiences too
                            with parents — idealize them and wear
                            the marks of no intimate relationships
                            that are successful for they have
                            unexpected behavior —

                                They are pros at provoking others —
                            they do things to hurt others to get control —
                            then say "oh, I am sorry", but
                            they intentionally gave into satan to
                            take control —
                            to punish to act out their anger —
                            that is so thick, but never once
                            have they admitted it to themselves —
                            if asked how they are —
                                they would say, they never lose
                            control are calm and holy —

                                Yet they isolate, lie, do things
                            to cause aggravation and deliberately
                            disobey — saying they did nothing
                            provoking until they get another to
                            lose control.

                                God chose them

                                They are strong —

                                They have tremendous talents —

                                Cannot disregard authority —

                            Aggressiveness must be
                                harnessed to do God's
                                will — obey

                            Devil tempts to get control —

                            People must learn to separate
                                present authority from
                                dysfunctional parental


                            I can never live the moments of
this day again.

                            When I go to bed tonight they will
be gone forever.

                                I must treasure each moment --

                            I have right now because I
can never have it back again.


From a Lenten Homily, March 24, 2000

Live in the Moment

    Today’s Gospel in its story certainly points ahead to Jesus in His Passion and death. And as we read passages such as this during the Lenten season, we are reminded once again that the Church in her Liturgy of the Word gives us an opportunity to undergo a purification, an ever deepening cleansing of ourselves so that we may be a more fit instrument for receiving the great graces which are to be given to us at the time of the Resurrection memorial on Easter. And so all in all, Lent is a time of purification to prepare us for ever-greater gifts of the Lord. It’s a time of self-discipline, a time to renew our efforts to be self-disciplined in the service of the Lord. Self-discipline is an aspect of purification. And I suggest that one of the most difficult acts of self-discipline in the spiritual journey is to concentrate on the present moment. We have a very strong tendency to disregard the importance of the present moment by focusing in a wrong way on the past or in a wrong way on the future. There are proper occasions for thinking of the past and the future. For example, we have to learn from the past and we have to prepare for the future, but our great emphasis has to be upon the present. There is a Latin axiom which says, age quod agis, age quod agis, which means: do what you are doing, concentrate on the present. And of course we are familiar with that term in the history of spirituality: the sacrament of the present moment. And so the discipline of Lent certainly encourages us to include in a deeper self-discipline a greater determination to get as much as we can out of the present moment. People with a terminal illness have an opportunity as they prepare for death for increased prayer, contrition, love of God. However, some are taken very, very quickly. But for those who have the opportunity of knowing with some certainty the time of their death, I’m sure as they look back on their lives, they are saddened by the many times they did not use time and opportunities for the service of the Lord properly, and are overjoyed at those times in which they did use the present opportunity properly. A great means we have of living in the present properly is a greater focus upon our Lord. For if I have that awareness of the fact I am united with Jesus here and now, why should I be concerned so much about the future or the past? Yes, a great help in living in the present and deriving all the good we can from it for ourselves and others is an ever greater focus upon Jesus, because the more I focus upon Jesus and the more I live with Him in the present moment, the more I am satisfied with the present moment. And so let us in our Lenten activity resolve to grow in that self-discipline - which is very difficult at times - to really live in the presence with the fullness of our being as much as is possible, with the help of God’s grace. Now is the day of salvation. Now is the day of salvation.

end of Father Carter's homily


                            ACTING OUT

                                Some people react to things that are
                            not really going on, when they are triggered.

                            We have the power to change negative tapes.

                            We may look for people outside us to
                                normalize us --
                                we need to control ourselves --
                                not everybody else around us --

                            We can change ourselves

                            Negative tapes stops us from being in
the NOW.

                            Blaming others for how I feel is
                                        - SCAPEGOATING -

                                            many times

                            If we want to change how we feel --
                                we have to change what we say to ourselves --


                            LIVE IN THE MOMENT

                                    JUST STOP

                                    DISC from NOVEMBER 10    (Coming Soon)

                                            Songs morning from retreat

                                            playing on radio

                            Authenticity Ocean Disc    (Coming Soon)

                            Use our brain to connect with God
                                and our heart.

                            Untrained mind is like a monkey
                                He jumps from branch to branch.

                            Self - Talk

                            We have a choice

                            To not react in desolation

                            We have the power to keep our thoughts

                            POSITIVE - SELF-ESTEEM -- BIBLE

                            Get rid of negative thought patterns

                            Affirmations --  BLUE BOOKS


                                                    PRAY the ROSARY

                                                    Rosary Meditations

                            Infant of Prague Novena every
                                    half hour  

Novena to the Infant of Prague

          O Jesus, who said, "Ask and you shall receive, seek and you shall find, knock and it shall be opened to you," through the intercession of Mary, Your most holy Mother, I knock, I seek, I ask that my prayer be granted. 

          O Jesus, who said, "All that you ask of the Father in My Name He will grant you," through the intercession of Mary, Your most holy Mother, I humbly and urgently ask Your Father in Your Name that my prayer be granted. 

          O Jesus, who said, "Heaven and earth shall pass away, but My word shall not pass," through the intercession of Mary, Your most holy Mother, I feel confident that my prayer will be granted.


                      Good Friday 1992

                            Dear Jesus,

                                I am sorry for my sins. I am sorry
                            you had to suffer for my sins. Thank you for
                            coming to earth and taking on a little
                            baby body to save me and my family.

                            Thank you for your pain and your sorrow
                            and your tears, Jesus. Thank you my God.

                                    Oh Jesus, my Savior --
                                    Thank you for giving me the gift of faith —
                                    I am your child, God!
                                    I give my will and my life to You.
                                    I want You to talk to me.
                                    I want to know how You want
                                        me to act.

                            Dear Father, thank You for creating me.

                            Dear Jesus, give me Your gentleness
                                and Your love, Your compassion
                                and help me to give myself for

                            I love You Jesus, I love You with
                                my whole heart and my whole soul.

                            God is guiding me on the right path

                            We can carry a bag of garbage our
                                whole life.

                            Some Garbages
                                low self-esteem
                                taking care of others and forgetting about ourselves

                            Victim thinking

                                "I am not responsible for anything
                                        that happens"

                                Why carry along the imperfections of our
mom and dad in relationships?


                                Think of Jesus now --
                                    feel His healing --
                                    like a touch of light
                                    go all through our body --
                                    to our toes
                                    FOREHEAD to TOES


                                Parents show us how to relate

                                We can be a


                                Brown-out -- check out for a while --
                                        like an alcoholic getting drunk

                                NOT HEALTHY -- PERFECTIONISM
                                                                        (overly - perfect attitude)

                                UNHEALTHY DANCE -- ENABLE
                                                                                    (like one who
                                                                                    enables alcoholic)

                                HEALTHY DANCE -- EMPOWER


                                Addictive Thinking

                                    How do I view the world
                                    We can create a crisis for a
                                        surge of adrenalin

                                    We can engage in self-destructive cycles

                            LOW - SELF-ESTEEM   <------>   Blue Books
                                                                                                    God loves us so much
                                                                                                    Love letters from God.



                                Devil comes and presses on a "trigger button".

                                Who controls our reactions, anyway?

                                We can have

                                            a NEW Self

                                            See Resurrected Lord

                                        LIVE IN


                                LOVE        TRUTH



                                ARE WE SHUT DOWN

                                        JOY is in the SAVIOR
                                        JOY is up to us
                                        JOY -- Be happy
                                        CELEBRATE -- Praise and honor God


                                PEACE        ---->       

                                FREEDOM  --  Jesus dropped burial cloths --
                                                                He came out of the tomb

                                                                Doing God's will


                                NO CODEPENDENCE




                                Real problems-- must be looked at
                                Alcoholic doesn't stop until he
                                        looks at it!

                                MUST COME OUT of denial

                                        We are not perfect!!!



Blue Book IV

                        Excerpt from July 13, 1994

You Are the Reflection of the God That Lives Within You

Jesus:  My child, I live in you in this world, I am in you. You are the reflection of the God that lives within you. Open yourselves up and let Me permeate your souls. Let me possess your being, let Me operate in your hearts. Be My light to this world. Be as one who lives to spread the life and love of this one true, magnificent God. Be Me to your brothers. Live to serve and love Me.

    I am God and I have spoken to you, My little scared ones. I come to strengthen you. Pray for this strength and open your hearts to Me and the will of the Father.



July 13, 1994

Title: Do Not Be Anxious Or Hurried, Your Savior Loves You

R. Forgive me Jesus, Father and Holy Spirit for all the times I focus on myself, especially to think I am in any way better than my brother.

    Help me to see the beautiful creation of God the Father, in each person, to respect and love them as you, God, love them, to realize we are brothers in Christ. God is our Father and we are brothers. To not love my brother is to not love God. How can I hate my brother whom I see and love my God whom I do not see?

    I want to love as You want me to. I am self-centered. Please give me all I need, Spirit of God, to love as God wants me to. Please remove the blinders from my eyes to see God, the Father's loving creation, in each brother.

    I am Yours, Lord, I consecrate my life to Your Sacred Heart and the Immaculate Heart of Mary. I am not going anywhere. I must be in the moment as You choose me to be. Whatever You ask of me is what I should be doing. Getting anxious is useless. Just live to do what You are asking me to do and do it the best I can, whether carrying groceries or playing with my children.

   My time is Your time. You loan it to me to work for You. I must do the best job I can for You with Christ acting out of me.

Jesus:  My child, don't be anxious or hurried. I am your precious Savior and I love you. You want for nothing if you know My love. I give My love to you abundantly. Ask and you shall receive, seek and you shall find, knock and it will be opened unto you. Stay fixed to My Sacred Heart and that of My Mother's heart. I am your all. Put things in perspective. Live to serve Me - I come first. Operate and love - this is your job. To show the love of God in your actions. Your actions must flow from your love for Me. Do not be anxious, be forever steadfast in My precious love.

Alleluia, Alleluia.


July 13, 1994

8:46 p.m.

Jesus:  I have chosen you for this work and you cry, My child. Do you know how special you are to Me? I am speaking to you and I am God. I am your refuge. I am your love. I am your light.



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