March 27, 1994
R. God is truly here. Jesus is in our midst. He numbers the hairs on our heads and knows whence they came. He wants to catch us in His loving arms. When we fall, He is there. He is truly here with me at this moment. I do not want to let go. I want to hold on to that which gives me pleasure. It is only in surrendering that God is all that is left. Then I can be about my job of loving and living for Him alone.
This is perfectly clear to me, but I feel I cannot express it any better in words. I am so attached to so many things and people, but it is only in total surrender that the things of God are all there is. Tea was a big thing for me and has been for many years. I rewarded myself at different times during the day. I got such gratification from it that when He asked me to give it up, I said, "Oh, God, I love it!" And He said, "That is what keeps you from increased union with Me."
I see that every time I let go of something very precious to me I jump into His arms. The world becomes less appealing and He is so much more alive and here for me. He is all that our craving soul desires. The more I feed my soul with Him, the more I am in harmony with the purpose of my creation.
All that He says is so simple, yet so hard to do. Who wants to let go of their most precious things? The reward is closer union with God!